The Nation

Sharma Distances Self Even Further From Liberals By Removing His Own Name And Face From Posters

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Prime Minister Morrison takes body blow after body blow from his own MPs throwing him under buses to protect their own seats, the Liberal Party is now heading into an election looking like an assortment of indepedents. With more and more Coalition members begging the Prime Minister to not visit them in their local communities, it has become...

Ambitious Cook Tries His Luck With The Waitress After A Ten Hour Stint In The Kitchen

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA gastro pub cook has today shown he has little common sense or way with women, after ambitiously asking a waitress out after a very long, and very smelly shift. Like many kitchen staff, Ash O'Neill regularly tried his luck with the pretty waitresses, who merely wanted to get in and get out without being accosted with lewd comments...

Albo Tells Farmers Conference A Lot Of Voters In Marrickville Also Weren’t Keen On Howard Gun Laws

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the National Party continues to distance themselves from Scott Morrison ahead of the 2022 Federal Election, bizarre things are beginning to unfold in Canberra. Namely, the fact that Nats Deputy Leader David Littleproud and Opposition leader Anthony Albanese have both appeared together as keynote speakers at one of the most important agricultural conferences of the year. National Farmers Federation...

Optus’ City Customers Treated To Day Of Regional Level Coverage After Mass Outage Hits Network

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Metropolitan customers of Australia's favourite phone and internet provider are today walking a kilometre in the shoes of their regional counterparts. This comes as a 'major outage' hits the Optus network, preventing customers in the city from making phone calls or sending text messages. The move comes as a shock to people in the big smoke, who have...

Scotty Switches His NRL Club For A Third Time And Begins Supporting The Doggies

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's Prime Minister has today rolled the sleeves up, and decided to do a bit of work. Not by trying to figure out what to do about the rising cost of living that confronts Australia as it tries to navigate its way out of this whole spicy cough thing - but by going full bore at trying...

Lebanese Family Who Had Armed ADF Troops Patrolling Their Suburb During Lockdown Really Feeling Let Down By The Prime Minister’s Comments In 2007

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In BREAKING news, it appears that Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing - a politician who made his name detaining war-weary asylum seekers in sweltering offshore prisons as Immigration Minister under Tony Abbott - might actually have a track record of stirring up racial and religious prejudice in an effort to further his career. These allegations emerge just days before...

Paul Murray Panics After Realising ‘Each Way Albo’ Implies Opposition Leader Is Still A Safer Bet

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It seems that Sky News Australia's Chief Goebbels Paul Murray may not understand the very concept of punting, despite his best efforts to present himself as an everyday bloke who doesn't spend his evenings drinking cognac and smoking cigars in North Shore restaurants. However, this was already common knowledge to anyone who may have had the great displeasure of...

‘Jared Leto Fan’ Now A Term That Exclusively Refers To People Who Listen To 30 Seconds To Mars

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAfter news hit today that shockingly, Morbius (the filler Marvel movie we get before Doctor Strange 2) is shit, actor and musician Jared Leto has now received his belt for being in both the worst DC and Marvel movies - seeing as no one can forget what a travesty the original ‘Suicide Squad’ was. Though...

Albo Guarantees To Provide Every Aged Care Home With At Least A Mining Camp Standard Of Food

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese has promised to repair the human warehouses that are Australian aged care homes, if he wins the election this year. During Labor's budget-in-reply speech last night, Albo pledged to boost aged workers pay as well - so that your grandparents aren't treated like house plants by overworked and exhausted immigrants. As is currently the case. It...

Government Rushes To Help The Northern Rivers After Their Kids Get Flooded Up At Wategos

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Both the Federal and NSW government have today sprung into action, after receiving some concerning phone calls from their kids. With a heartbreakingly fucked amount of rain falling on the Northern Rivers for the second time in a month, pleas for help are ringing out around the region again. Evacuation orders have been issued for swathes of areas...

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