ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister has conceded today that the ongoing debate surrounding Australia Day isn’t about what day it falls on, it’s about not letting the other side win.

Scott Morrison spoke to the media today in Canberra just hours after the People’s Republic of Byron Bay, on the far north New South Wales coast, voted to move the celebrations forward in the year.

A mid-level ABC reporter broached the subject in a question to Morrison and was quickly cut off as the Prime Minister began his rant on the topic.

“Our modern Australian nation began on January 26, 1788,” he said.

“Not the day James Cook first arrived or the day Pemulwuy speared Governer Phillip’s gamekeeper in the fucking head. It’s not even the day Australia won America’s Cup. We celebrate the 26th of January because that’s the day Dirk Hartog nailed the pewter plate to that stump thing in Shark Bay,”

“Ah, I think that was it. Anyway, it’s all about not letting the left win. If we change the date, the left has won. Do you want to live in a world like that? If we give them that inch, where does it end? Was Arthur Phillip actually a male? Did Roden Cutler identify sexually as a pigeon? You tell me!”

Satisfied with his answer, Morrison looked around for any Sky News reporters to ask him a question.

However, he only found David Speers so he left.

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