Dolphins Fans Walking Around Like They Own The City
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from the world’s premiere River City, Dolphins fans are currently walking
Dolphins Fans Walking Around Like They Own The City
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
Sir David Dobbyn Booked For Pre-Match Entertainment As Mount Smart Stadium Hosts The Hori Cup
KURT TAPAUELI | QueeNZland
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M1 Looking Like Easter Monday Traffic As Knights Fans Trek To Sydney For Finals Footy
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact In a national traffic update, the M1 motorway into Sydney is resembling a Westfield carpark
LA Rams Evacuate Before Being Forced To Try Vegemite On Triple M
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact An international evacuation mission is playing out in the south this afternoon as 53 American
Melbourne Pub Uses AI To Turn This Morning’s NFL Wings Into Friday Night Footy Special
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact A thrifty pub is making the most of its leftovers today, as it attempts to
Coalition Seemingly Torn Over Whether It Is Inappropriate To Call Their War Hero Colleague A Traitor
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Western Australian Liberal MP and decorated SAS veteran, Andrew Hastie, has this week taken the gloves
Sydney's Assorted Gangs To Stop Killing People After Police, Premier Ask Them To Please Not
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Kofi Annan Of Kogarah has brought an end to Sydney's out-
Melbourne Man Who Missed Out On Tickets To The Game Hits Dans For A Bucket Of Bud
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A man from our country’s most European city has today decided to treat himself. Northern
Man Who Didn't Eat Halloumi Within 2 Minutes Now Forced To Chew Through Squeaky Piece Of Rubber
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A 29 year old man who failed to eat his halloumi within the first two minutes
Mutual Friend Leaving Table For A Piss Provides Excellent Opportunity For Local Man To Forget All Basic Conversation Skills
JONTY SPEEDMAN | Culture | CONTACT A local pub goer has this evening crashed and burned, following his mutual friend vacating the
Local News
Sweet Summer Child: Mate From Sydney Insists On Leaving An Hour Early To Find A Park
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT A Sydney man is currently experiencing his seventeenth wave of culture shock after landing in Queensland
Local Woman Trying To Enjoy Discreet Takeaway Dinner Subjected To Needlessly Identifiable Bag Of Shame
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT A woman in Betoota’s french quarter feels privacy is no longer a right but instead
Suburban Mega Pub Has Definitely Never Served A Beer To Anyone As Hot As The AI Chick In The Flyer
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With a playground for the sugar-high kids and 800 exciting poker machines, The Elephant'
Kid With A Teacher Mum Knocks Book Week Out Of The Park Again
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Remy Matthews' arrival to school this morning has left all the other kids in Ms
The Nation
Report Finds That 90% Of Husbands Think Louis Vuitton And Louboutin Are The Same Brand
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Report Finds That 90% Of Husbands Think Louis Vuitton And Louboutin Are The Same Brand That
Range Rover Owner Not Happy That Every Other 4WD Looks Exactly The Same As His Baby Nowadays
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Every second 4WD vehicle now looks like a Range Rover, that's according to a
Corporate Tower Lift Now Permanently Stinks Like The Fruity Stench Of Modern Finance Bros
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The corporate elevator now smells like a fusion of grape, mango, lychee, peppermint and apple. That&
Anyone Wearing These Pervert Glasses Needs A Hiding, Says Mainstream Australian Society
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A new boom in 'Smart glasses' and other discreet recording devices has caused extreme
World News
Yep Nothing To Worry About Here
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Recent political developments coming out of Germany today have revealed that there is still nothing to
Drunk Man Receives Unabridged History Of Pakistan After Asking Uber Driver His Thoughts On Imran Khan
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A drunk man with a surface level knowledge of Pakistan's history has just received
Farewell Dolly - An Icon For Rural Communities, Feminists, Rednecks, Gays, The Poor And The Glitzy
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Dolly Parton, the American country music singer who rose from rural poverty in post-war Tennessee
Never Ending Euro Heatwave Forces Spaniards To Push Back Dinner Even Later
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT The never-ending European heatwave has forced Spaniards to push their already notoriously late dinners even
Politics
Coalition Seemingly Torn Over Whether It Is Inappropriate To Call Their War Hero Colleague A Traitor
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Western Australian Liberal MP and decorated SAS veteran, Andrew Hastie, has this week taken the gloves
Melbourne Media Will Have To Dig A Little Deeper If They Think A DUI and Some Goey Is Enough To Stop This Thing
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT BARELY A HICCUP: After playing the role of One Nation cheerleaders for the last 12 months,
Liberals To Defend Big Tech's Right To Stream This Shit Into The Frontal Lobes Of Vulnerable Young Men
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Federal Opposition will defend the status quo and protect the God-given rights of young
One Nation Vows To Let Australians Spend Their Super On A Brand New Isuzu DMAX
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT One Nation's greatest minds are currently discussing a new policy to allow Australians to
Sports
Sir David Dobbyn Booked For Pre-Match Entertainment As Mount Smart Stadium Hosts The Hori Cup
KURT TAPAUELI | QueeNZland | Contact OVER MY HORI-ZON: Auckland is buzzing today, on the eve of the inaugural Hori Cup
Carn The Replacements! Reigning Premiers Crushed By ‘The Sydney Swaps’
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A sporting fairytale is emerging in the AFL this September. After weeks of daunting conversations about
So-Called Rabbitohs Fan Hasn't Even Gotten On The Piss Down The Newmarket
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A bloke that spends a lot of time reading novels - in the most visible corner of
Sydney Swans Cautiously Decide Against Launching Into An Out-Of-Control Bender At An Extremely Indiscreet Venue In The Centre Of A Major City To Celebrate Round 24 Victory Over Mighty North Melbourne
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Sydney Swans have secured their second place on the AFL ladder this week, as the