Local Man Opts For Fish n’ Chips After An Unpleasant AI Glitch In Pub’s Melbourne Cup Specials
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact A local man has decided to run with the fish n’ chips option this afternoon,
Jim Chalmers Says C'mon Let's Just Focus On The Melbourne Cup Today Hey
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor
Local Intern Might’ve Used ChatGPT For The Office Sweep
KEITH T. DENNET
Latest
Bloke Who Had Flutter On 2018 World Cup Has Already Received 78 Bonus Bet Offers Today
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact A local man is drowning in text messages today, as he withstands waves of digital
Albo To Let Sportsbet Use The New Nationwide AusAlert System Just For Today
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact Australians have been warned to keep a close eye on their phones today, as the
Gambling Addict CEO Suddenly Cares About Equine Welfare If It Means Keeping Workers At Their Desk Today
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local CEO has this week stood by a stunning and brave call to finally put
Gen-Z Take Advantage Of The Last Halloween To Fall On A Saturday While They Are Still Young And Hot
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT Australia's poor Gen Zs have hard their first cruel encounter with the sands of
JUST GAMBLE YOU COWARD! Use The Code BETOOTA69 For A $2000 Sign Up Offer With The Legends At PigBet For The Melbourne Cup Tomorrow
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! It's nearly Christmas pigs, and I'm not talking about that bullshit
Post-Noosa Triathlon Root De-Railed By Simultaneous Cramps
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A sweaty moment of exhausted passion has ended in cramps this weekend, after a mammoth weekend
Shocked And Confused It’s Already November? Just Focus On The Mangoes
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT As Christmas decorations continue popping up left right and centre, it’s apparent we have officially
Historical Context Of Lebanon’s Thrilling Victory Over France Completely Lost On NRL Commentators
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Ear drums were perforating in Western Sydney overnight as fans of the Lebanese national rugby league
Local News
Local Woman Falls Blissfully Asleep To The Most Deeply Twisted And Horrific Crime Podcast Available To Her
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local professional from Betoota's inner-city French Quarter has discovered the secret to
Bloke With Full Sleeve 'Theatre Masks' Tattoo Certainly Doesn't Mind A Bit Of Drama
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Betoota Ponds bloke that is really pushing the limit with just how far you can
"How's That Feel?" Says The Third Schooner
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It's a springtime Friday arvo in a sunny beer garden and the third schooner
Local Man Really Could Not Give A Flying Fuck About A Phone Screen That Folds
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local bloke with a bit going has decided he does not need to engage with
The Nation
130kg Samoan DJ Knows Exactly When To Drop ‘Toxic’ By Britney
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's Polynesian communities are as lively as ever this week, after some stand out
Morayfield Bloke Gets Great Value For His 4 Cents A Day After Being Saved From Floodwaters By ABC Reporter
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The people of Morayfield have never been more grateful that the Australian public broadcaster has the
Young Couple Trapped In A Small Town Head Up To The Lookout And Listen To Tracy Chapman's ‘Fast Car’ Again
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A young French Quarter couple are set to spend the early evening up on
Ecstatic Trade Specialist At Mount Gravatt Bunnings Wants To Know If You've Heard The News
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A trade specialist working the floor at Mount Gravatt Bunnings in Brisbane's southside is
World News
Meghan Markle Finally Accepted By The Royals After Revelations That She Has A Nonce In The Family
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | CONTACT The Royal Family and the BBC have suddenly welcomed the Duchess Of Sussex with open
French Student Protests Actually Just Migrants Being Criminals, Says Random Australian On The Internet
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 'Student Protests' currently taking place across all of France's major cities
Untaxed And Government-Aided Wealth Hoarding Of Baby Boomers Not Sustainable, Confirms French
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Providing the post-war voting blocks with half a century worth of extremely generous tax loopholes
Domino Effect: Pop Stops Worrying About Trans Athletes After Ukraine Strikes Russian Data Centres
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Betoota Grove retiree is slowly returning to the political centre this week, that's
Politics
Unregulated Spread Of Online Hate Speech And Toxic Misinformation Proven To Have Tragic Real Life Consequences
A solemn mood has swept across the country today, after a senseless and violent attack on the much loved regional
Liberals To Oppose Regulating Big Tech Platforms That Have Completely Fucked Their Entire Political Movement
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In news that really shouldn't surprise anyone, the Liberal Party have once again chosen
Aussie Media Still Pretending A Political Party That Doesn't Believe In Childcare Or Abortion Has Even The Slightest Chance Of Winning Majority Government
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact With nothing else to talk about when it comes to domestic politics, the Australian media
Liberals Somehow Manage To Fuck Up Most Simple Form Of Politics As Anti-Immigration Policies Fall Flat
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Coalition's Century Of Humiliation continues this week, after their high risk policy thus
Sports
Historical Context Of Lebanon’s Thrilling Victory Over France Completely Lost On NRL Commentators
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Ear drums were perforating in Western Sydney overnight as fans of the Lebanese national rugby league
Young Queenslander Terrifies His Neighbours By Dressing As A Nonchalant Game 3 Laurie Daley For Halloween
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Authorities are calling for calm in South-West Queensland this week, after hysterical reports of a
Report: This Is Pretty Hard
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Rugby league fans are suddenly outspoken fashion critics today, as the PNG Chiefs finally unveil their
French Burn Down Their Own Cities After Humiliating 78-4 Loss To Samoa In Rugby League World Cup
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hundreds of shops have been looted and 2,400 people have been arrested in France as