Sydney’s Good Boys On The Verge Of Nervous Breakdowns After Nightly Vivid Fireworks
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Inner Sydney's good boys are on the brink of complete mental collapse as Vivid&
Sydney’s Good Boys On The Verge Of Nervous Breakdowns After Nightly Vivid Fireworks
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements
Australian Greeks Extremely Nervous About Tomorrow
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements
Socceroos Fan Nervous About Lack Of Croatian Surnames On This World Cup Squad
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements
Latest
Local Man Thinks He's Helping By Mailing Bullets To The Mayor Over Proposed Rail Trail
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter pensioner has today expressed genuine confusion as to why everybody is
NBA Finals Way Better When Some Aussie Is Somehow In The Mix
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact As a flood of Knicks vs Spurs content starts infiltrating the social feeds of Australian
Owner Of Extremely Creepy Ray-Ban Camera Sunnies Better Work In Espionage Otherwise He's A Pervert
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A man who feels the need to film people in public without them knowing is either
Report: The Phins Are Well And Truly Up
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT From Brisbane to the stunning beaches of the Sunny Coast, a strong seismic movement has been
Boss Kidding Himself If He Thinks The World Cup’s Not Going On The Tele
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Local middle manager and noted productivity enthusiast, Gary Johnson, has today been informed to keep his
Government Adds Over 50s To Social Media Ban In Effort To Quell Swelling One Nation Vote
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The government is starting to panic but not for who you'd expect.
Australia Excited To Annoy Soccer Fans By Calling It Soccer For The Entirety Of The Big Soccer Competition
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact The national mood been given a much needed boost this morning with the news that
Employee Kindly Takes Resume Knowing Damn Well There Aren’t Enough Shifts To Go Round
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The unemployment rate in Australia is 4.5% according to the April figures from the Australian
Local News
Local Man Thinks He's Helping By Mailing Bullets To The Mayor Over Proposed Rail Trail
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter pensioner has today expressed genuine confusion as to why everybody is
Employee Kindly Takes Resume Knowing Damn Well There Aren’t Enough Shifts To Go Round
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The unemployment rate in Australia is 4.5% according to the April figures from the Australian
‘Redraw!’ Exclaims Absolute Pub Larrakin 2.5 Seconds After The First Ticket Is Read Aloud At Meat Raffle
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The Betoota Bowls Club has been raffling meat since the time of Menzies. Meat raffles are
Local Women Slowly Dawdle Out Of Restaurant In Hopes The Other Will Suggest An Ice Cream First
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Two women grabbing dinner in Betoota’s French Quarter last night were seen emerging from the
The Nation
New Data Reveals Spike In Number Of Australian Households Where Mum Is The Primary Spider-Killer
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT A new report from Betoota University indicates spider-killing duties are befalling an unprecedented number of
Younger Australians Confused As To How Their Parents Didn't Find This Guy Extremely Sus
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Younger Australians are scratching their heads after watching the recent Rolf Harris documentary on ABC. "
"Pffft $1.6m Isn't Even Lunch" Taylor Scoffs At One Nation's Pathetic Fundraising Effort
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Opposition leader Angus Taylor has been reminded this week that no matter how much
Local Journalist Breaks The Mould By Not Having Staunch Labor Voting School Teachers As Parents
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A crack news reporter based Betoota's youthful French Quarter has this week revealed an
World News
After Weeks Of Trying To Forget Each Other, World’s Most Toxic Love Triangle Now More Passionate Than Ever
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news that has the rest of the global community rolling their eyes, one of
Hollywood Confirms James Bond Will Now Drive A Canary-Yellow Monaro If Elordi Gets The Role
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Auditions for the next era of the James Bond franchise are currently taking place, with Australian
Toowoomba Bloke On First Europe Trip Reckons These Napolitanos Just Need A Bit Of Pineapple And They'd Be Nailing It
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prominent Toowoomba-based solar sales rep, Sheehan Gostwyck (31) has never been to continental Europe before.
Humiliation As The Falling American Empire Gets High Speed Rail Before Us
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Australians are struggling to process reports that the pseudo-"developed" country of the United
Politics
Government Adds Over 50s To Social Media Ban In Effort To Quell Swelling One Nation Vote
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The government is starting to panic but not for who you'd expect.
Report Finds One Nation's $400 Billion Defence Plan Was Modelled Off Red Alert 2
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One Nation's Defence Policy has come under fire this week, as it becomes clear
Reanimated Robert Menzies Elected As Tony Abbott's Vice President Of Liberal Party
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The reanimated corpse of Robert Menzies has been elected as vice president of Tony
Grandparents Inability To Use A Smart TV Sees Them Radicalised By Sky News On Samsung Home Screen
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Two loving local grandparents from the leafy enclave of Betoota Grove have gradually embraced the warm
Sports
Australian Greeks Extremely Nervous About Tomorrow
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Hellenic Australians around the country are growing exceedingly anxious about the Socceroos opening match against Turkey.
Australia Excited To Annoy Soccer Fans By Calling It Soccer For The Entirety Of The Big Soccer Competition
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact The national mood been given a much needed boost this morning with the news that
Extremely Middle Class Colleague Has The Basketball Game Up On His Phone And Is Pretending To Work Ha Ha
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact While lesser parts of the country were off growing fat on the couch yesterday,
English Cricketer Handle Your Piss Challenge: Impossible
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact English Test Captain Ben Stokes has done himself a mischief while out on the