Government Under Fire For Offering Bonus Bets During Census
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal Government has tonight been forced to defend a controversial feature of the national census.
Government Under Fire For Offering Bonus Bets During Census
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
Local Mum Overwhelmed With Excitement After A National Address, AusAlert Siren And Now Census!!!
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor
Latest
Report: It Would Be Very UnAustralian To Tip These Things Over And Gut Them For Copper
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A report into the growing anti-surveillance state rhetoric on the nation's
Mum Hits Family Chat To Remind Everyone To Do Their Census Tonight
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights matriarch of 4 has today made sure to check in on her little
Local Menace Prepares To Become Town's Only Trans Asexual Muslim Tonight
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact A French Quarter sharehouse dweller will provide bad data to the Australian Bureau of Statistics
South Australia To Hold Royal Commission Into Ever-Evolving Technology That Will Be Unrecognisable By The Time They Have Any Findings To Report
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Premier of South Australia has this week given in to the fears and panic of
Local Fuck Boy Turns Phone Off And Goes Dark To Avoid Filling Out Census With Situationship Tonight
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The waters have been muddied for a local woman, once again. Local fuckboy Andy Towers (29)
Government Calls Cross Bench A Bunch Of Pussies For Not Signing Up To Punters Club
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal government has today lashed out at all the 'soft cocks' in their
Australia's Softest Contact Sport Somehow Most Likely To Be Rocked By CTE Epidemic
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The AFL’s head trauma crisis continues to spiral out of control, as the nation watches
“I Don’t Know Any Of These People” Says Millennial Man Who Has Stuck To Unchanged Playlist Since 2019
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT A 33 year old man from Betoota’s flight path district has spent the last week
Local News
Bloke Carrying 24 Toilet Paper Rolls Under His Arm Clearly Needs To Do A Gigantic Poo ASAP
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A man that is brazenly walking through his own suburb with a new supply of goona
Edgy Gen X Man Vows To Still Write 'Jedi' As His Religion On The Census Form
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Local 48 year old Mark Chifley has vowed to continue his comical tradition of writing down
Local Man Pushing 30 Still Not Sure How The Second Cousin Once Removed Bullshit Works
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT A man from Betoota’s flight path district has made it a decent way into his
Ritalin No Match For Fruit Roll Ups
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT A Green Road State School student is currently bouncing off the walls after somehow managing to
The Nation
Local Mum Overwhelmed With Excitement After A National Address, AusAlert Siren And Now Census!!!
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It's been a big year for civic duty, and one local empty-nester can&
South Australia To Hold Royal Commission Into Ever-Evolving Technology That Will Be Unrecognisable By The Time They Have Any Findings To Report
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Premier of South Australia has this week given in to the fears and panic of
Local Fuck Boy Turns Phone Off And Goes Dark To Avoid Filling Out Census With Situationship Tonight
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The waters have been muddied for a local woman, once again. Local fuckboy Andy Towers (29)
Violently Hungover Passenger Vows To Never Save $20 On The Early Flight Again
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Early yesterday morning, a Jetstar and a Qatar Airways plane were involved in a near miss
World News
Tupac Shakur Murder Trial Takes Gen-X Dad Straight Back To The Great Bong-Hazed Mystery Of His Youth
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local Gen-X Australian dad is today underplaying how deeply invested he is in the
Andrew Tate's Alpha Male Monologue Fails To Resonate With Fellow Inmates At Miami Megamax
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Manosphere king and "buy my course" guru Andrew Tate is reportedly not having the
Cape Town Excited To Once Again Become A Big Deal As Red Sea Closure Redirects Global Trade Routes
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Cape Town residents are silently hopeful that the escalating instability in the Red Sea and a
Film Critics Agree The Only Thing Missing From 'The Odyssey' Is Eric Bana Speaking In A Thick Broadmeadows Accent
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In an era of second-screen viewing and underwhelming streaming slop, it can be confirmed this
Politics
ICAC Investigation Finds The NSW Liberal Party Has Lost The Fucken Plot
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Aside from being a good decade away from ever being elected to power again, it can
Pocock Receives Death Threats For Fucking Labor's 13-Leg Same-Game Gambling Reform Bill
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Wallabies captain and Federal Senator David Pocock is feeing like a professional Australian athlete again
One Nation's Victorian Candidates Off To A Great Start With Plenty Of 'Globalist Digital IDs' Chat
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Pauline Hanson has this week answered the most pressing question in Australian politics. What does a
Nambour High Alumni Says Here’s How You Deal With These Fucken Redneck Queenslanders
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Last night, former PM Kevin Rudd appeared on the ABC's 7.30 to discuss
Sports
Australia's Softest Contact Sport Somehow Most Likely To Be Rocked By CTE Epidemic
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The AFL’s head trauma crisis continues to spiral out of control, as the nation watches
Swans Fan Thrilled 4pm Game Comes With Perfect Lighting For Social Content
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT An eastern suburbs micro influencer has been spotted skipping down Moore Park Road today,
Tigers Fan Enjoys Rare Weekend Off From Copping It In The Group Chat
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A long suffering Wests Tigers fan is enjoying a rare, and much needed break
FIFA Considers Poaching Gríma Wormtongue As Infantino’s Replacement After Privatisation Failure
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Former chief counsellor at the court of King Théoden of Rohan and known associate of Saruman