Microsoft IT Guy Tries Turning It Off And On Again
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Global tech giant Microsoft is in crisis this morning (Australian time), after it's servers
Microsoft IT Guy Tries Turning It Off And On Again
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
“How Good Is Spring” Convo Dampened By One Mate Bringing Up Climate Change
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle
Country Mum Foists 95% of Backyard Citrus Grove Onto Departing Guests
BEVERLEY MOODY | Local
Weird Old Bloke In Smokers Really Keen To Share Some Opinions
JONTY SPEEDMAN | Culture
Latest
Husband Thinks ‘We’ Should Buy Something For Friends With New Baby
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact Local boyfriend Bryce Winter has earned an eye roll from his wife this afternoon after
Western Australians Living In Queensland Just Wants To Know When This Rugby Season Officially Ends
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT With the World Cup coming to an end this Sunday in a heated game between Australia
Melbourne Friend Keeps Calling Convenience Stores Milk Bars
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A Melbourne man visiting friends in Sydney has continued referring to convenience stores as milk bars,
Trendy Cafe Could Probably Do With Bigger Tables
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT The cafe, which has a nice fit-out and good natural light, currently invites groups of
New Money Eastern European Shocks No One By Buying A House That Looks Like A Private Hospital
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT The property, on a quiet suburban street, is finished in white render and glass. It has
Detox Tea In Boyfriend’s Grocery Run Shop Suggests Blow Out Was Bigger Than He Said
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In breaking news, a local boyfriend has been caught white-lying to his partner
Mum Reads The Room And Announces Extended Family Secret Santa Just $15 Each
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local girl is breathing a sigh of relief tonight, after being gifted a
Bartender Starts Pouring Prosecco Jugs As 2nd Marriage Hens Party Rolls In Before Robbie Williams
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Jugs of lager are out, and buckets of prosecco are in tonight, as Betoota
Local News
Local Woman Falls Blissfully Asleep To The Most Deeply Twisted And Horrific Crime Podcast Available To Her
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local professional from Betoota's inner-city French Quarter has discovered the secret to
Bloke With Full Sleeve 'Theatre Masks' Tattoo Certainly Doesn't Mind A Bit Of Drama
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Betoota Ponds bloke that is really pushing the limit with just how far you can
"How's That Feel?" Says The Third Schooner
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It's a springtime Friday arvo in a sunny beer garden and the third schooner
Local Man Really Could Not Give A Flying Fuck About A Phone Screen That Folds
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local bloke with a bit going has decided he does not need to engage with
The Nation
PM Vows To Slash Government Spending, Still Not Clear If That Means Scomo's $400B Vanity Subs
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the Reserve Bank's decision to raise the cash rate for the 5th time
Report: Nothing Like A Packed Bus On A Dreary Morning After Yet Another Rate Rise
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Reserve Bank of Australia is awash with excitement this morning, after learning that their most
130kg Samoan DJ Knows Exactly When To Drop ‘Toxic’ By Britney
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's Polynesian communities are as lively as ever this week, after some stand out
Morayfield Bloke Gets Great Value For His 4 Cents A Day After Being Saved From Floodwaters By ABC Reporter
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The people of Morayfield have never been more grateful that the Australian public broadcaster has the
World News
20 Years Later, The Rest Of Texas Finally Catches Up With The Dixie Chicks
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In what looks to be the most radical shift in American politics since the Roosevelt Presidency,
Intentionally Making Life Hard For People With No Long-Term Gain Not A Successful Political Strategy
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It seems that being needlessly nasty to everyone that you deem to be weak and powerless
Meghan Markle Finally Accepted By The Royals After Revelations That She Has A Nonce In The Family
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | CONTACT The Royal Family and the BBC have suddenly welcomed the Duchess Of Sussex with open
French Student Protests Actually Just Migrants Being Criminals, Says Random Australian On The Internet
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 'Student Protests' currently taking place across all of France's major cities
Politics
Unregulated Spread Of Online Hate Speech And Toxic Misinformation Proven To Have Tragic Real Life Consequences
A solemn mood has swept across the country today, after a senseless and violent attack on the much loved regional
Liberals To Oppose Regulating Big Tech Platforms That Have Completely Fucked Their Entire Political Movement
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In news that really shouldn't surprise anyone, the Liberal Party have once again chosen
Aussie Media Still Pretending A Political Party That Doesn't Believe In Childcare Or Abortion Has Even The Slightest Chance Of Winning Majority Government
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact With nothing else to talk about when it comes to domestic politics, the Australian media
Liberals Somehow Manage To Fuck Up Most Simple Form Of Politics As Anti-Immigration Policies Fall Flat
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Coalition's Century Of Humiliation continues this week, after their high risk policy thus
Sports
Historical Context Of Lebanon’s Thrilling Victory Over France Completely Lost On NRL Commentators
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Ear drums were perforating in Western Sydney overnight as fans of the Lebanese national rugby league
Young Queenslander Terrifies His Neighbours By Dressing As A Nonchalant Game 3 Laurie Daley For Halloween
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Authorities are calling for calm in South-West Queensland this week, after hysterical reports of a
Report: This Is Pretty Hard
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Rugby league fans are suddenly outspoken fashion critics today, as the PNG Chiefs finally unveil their
French Burn Down Their Own Cities After Humiliating 78-4 Loss To Samoa In Rugby League World Cup
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hundreds of shops have been looted and 2,400 people have been arrested in France as