"Woke Is So Fucking BACK" Says Leftie As If Democratic Machine Isn't Just Gonna Run Newsom In 18 Months Time
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A new day has dawned on Western democracy this week, according to local terrace house resident
NZ Election Projected To Be Decided By The 30,000 Kiwis Living In Melbourne
PETE CLARK | Melbourne
WTF! Never Saw That Coming!!!
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
Latest
Spreadsheet Master Orchestrates Detailed 4 City, 3 State Tactical Offensive For Rugby World Cup
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man has gone and done it this week. Bill Brooks (32) from our town’
America Begins To Try Fix Its Global Reputation Like A Hungover Man That Went Too Far Last Night
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT America has collectively woken up to one of the worst hangovers in all of recorded human
Karl Bushby Says Journey Probably Would’ve Only Taken 10 Years If He’d Of Done It Off The Back Of 6 Pints
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT On Monday, British adventurer Karl Bushby returned from his 50,000-kilometre (31,000-mile) walk
Trans-Tasman Freight Ship Capsizes Under The Weight Of Aussie-Based Kiwis Mailing In Their Votes
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Kiwis are preparing to hit the booths this Saturday almost ten months after PM Christopher Luxon
Milk Spill Promptly Followed By Tears
JONTY SPEEDMAN | Culture | CONTACT A local toddler has today disbanded all sense of emotional stability shortly after an unfortunate accident
Actress That Had Slight Success Overseas Now Has Leading Role In Whatever Australian Production They Want
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT An actor who you probably haven’t heard of has had their pick of the tens
First Time Yo-Chi Customer Gets Stung $40 After Unclear Directives
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT A Yo-Chi virgin has suffered quite the surprise at the counter after realising just how
70 Year Old Bar Fly And Broke 21-Year-Old Bond Over Drinking Real Beer
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Two men separated by fifty years have found common ground at a local pub after discovering
Local News
Local Woman Falls Blissfully Asleep To The Most Deeply Twisted And Horrific Crime Podcast Available To Her
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local professional from Betoota's inner-city French Quarter has discovered the secret to
Bloke With Full Sleeve 'Theatre Masks' Tattoo Certainly Doesn't Mind A Bit Of Drama
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Betoota Ponds bloke that is really pushing the limit with just how far you can
"How's That Feel?" Says The Third Schooner
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It's a springtime Friday arvo in a sunny beer garden and the third schooner
Local Man Really Could Not Give A Flying Fuck About A Phone Screen That Folds
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local bloke with a bit going has decided he does not need to engage with
The Nation
PM Vows To Slash Government Spending, Still Not Clear If That Means Scomo's $400B Vanity Subs
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the Reserve Bank's decision to raise the cash rate for the 5th time
Report: Nothing Like A Packed Bus On A Dreary Morning After Yet Another Rate Rise
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Reserve Bank of Australia is awash with excitement this morning, after learning that their most
130kg Samoan DJ Knows Exactly When To Drop ‘Toxic’ By Britney
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's Polynesian communities are as lively as ever this week, after some stand out
Morayfield Bloke Gets Great Value For His 4 Cents A Day After Being Saved From Floodwaters By ABC Reporter
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The people of Morayfield have never been more grateful that the Australian public broadcaster has the
World News
20 Years Later, The Rest Of Texas Finally Catches Up With The Dixie Chicks
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In what looks to be the most radical shift in American politics since the Roosevelt Presidency,
Intentionally Making Life Hard For People With No Long-Term Gain Not A Successful Political Strategy
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It seems that being needlessly nasty to everyone that you deem to be weak and powerless
Meghan Markle Finally Accepted By The Royals After Revelations That She Has A Nonce In The Family
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | CONTACT The Royal Family and the BBC have suddenly welcomed the Duchess Of Sussex with open
French Student Protests Actually Just Migrants Being Criminals, Says Random Australian On The Internet
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 'Student Protests' currently taking place across all of France's major cities
Politics
Unregulated Spread Of Online Hate Speech And Toxic Misinformation Proven To Have Tragic Real Life Consequences
A solemn mood has swept across the country today, after a senseless and violent attack on the much loved regional
Liberals To Oppose Regulating Big Tech Platforms That Have Completely Fucked Their Entire Political Movement
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In news that really shouldn't surprise anyone, the Liberal Party have once again chosen
Aussie Media Still Pretending A Political Party That Doesn't Believe In Childcare Or Abortion Has Even The Slightest Chance Of Winning Majority Government
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact With nothing else to talk about when it comes to domestic politics, the Australian media
Liberals Somehow Manage To Fuck Up Most Simple Form Of Politics As Anti-Immigration Policies Fall Flat
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Coalition's Century Of Humiliation continues this week, after their high risk policy thus
Sports
Historical Context Of Lebanon’s Thrilling Victory Over France Completely Lost On NRL Commentators
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Ear drums were perforating in Western Sydney overnight as fans of the Lebanese national rugby league
Young Queenslander Terrifies His Neighbours By Dressing As A Nonchalant Game 3 Laurie Daley For Halloween
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Authorities are calling for calm in South-West Queensland this week, after hysterical reports of a
Report: This Is Pretty Hard
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Rugby league fans are suddenly outspoken fashion critics today, as the PNG Chiefs finally unveil their
French Burn Down Their Own Cities After Humiliating 78-4 Loss To Samoa In Rugby League World Cup
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hundreds of shops have been looted and 2,400 people have been arrested in France as