CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Dark Princess Of upper middle class Betoota has today secretly listened to a few albums that will be immediately removed from her playlists.
Kylie Miles (17) has made a point of not adhering to contemporary pop culture trends, ever since she swapped her barbie dolls for toy dinosaurs in kindergarten.
As a self-declared and self-styled goth, her parents know all too well that her interests differ greatly to her contemporaries and Betoota Heights Girls High.
With a social circle made up of similarly pagan outcasts, the hysterical frenzy that overtook her schoolyard this week was lost on the goths.
However, as the middle child wedged between two equally assertive netballers, even Kylie was unable to avoid the psychotic fandom that has permeated across the country as Taylor Swift went on sale yesterday morning.
While wagging school in a quiet corner of the local park today, Kylie reluctantly waterboarded herself with the musical discography of the country-pop superstar that her entire identity is based around disliking.
And her honest review of this music is even more shameful than having listened to it in the first place.
“I totally get the attitude” Kylie discreetly tells the Betoota Advocate.
“I mean, I didn’t need Taylor Swift to tell me that boys are losers. But she kind of nails it”
As the enlightened teenager points out, there seems to be a venn diagram between the nihilistic bitterness of Taylor Swift’s scorned revenge ballads – and the death metal that she likes to listen to with her friends at their abandoned warehouse parties.
“It’s a shame she dresses like a breakfast TV presenter. Throw in a few heavier guitar riffs and maybe some eyeliner… I could see myself becoming a bit of a swiftie”
“Don’t tell anyone I said that”
“I’m serious”
“Especially my stupid sisters”
