RORY SALAZAR | Property | Contact
It is well known by people with taste that the classic and very sophisticated Hamptons-inspired façade seamlessly integrates into the Sunshine Coast’s relaxed beach styled living.
And it’s something that Sunshine Coast Council’s Coordinator of Development and Planning, Matthew Shaw (39), says some applicants continue to forget.
“We approve on average 126 Hampton-inspired McMansions every week,” Shaw explained to the Advocate. “It’s the quintessential architectural style that makes the Sunshine Coast and its people so original and unique.”
“And it could’ve been 127 approvals this week but for a recent applicant who refused to address our further information request and update their choice of home façade to the only style we deem appropriate.”
Shaw was referring to Development Application 123/2023, which seeks to construct a fuck off two storey McMansion and associated landscaping works at 132 Hans Brix Drive, Mudjimba.
Unfortunately for the applicant, they refused Council’s request to swap out their shit box façade to the more dignified and enlightened Hamptons style.
“We gave them everything they needed to get their approval but they refused to budge,” sighed Shaw as he showed the Advocate architectural drawings of the monstrous 7 bedroom McMansion with what appeared to be some kind of crude attempt at a Queenslander-inspired facade. “I don’t care how many bedrooms you have or how many garages, but haven’t we seen enough of these Queenslander facades already?”
Shaw, who is colour blind and has never studied urban design, explained that what makes the Sunshine Coast unique is that every new two storey McMansion looks identical to every other two storey McMansion that already fill up the region’s suburban streetscapes. Which is to say a two storey crap heap of bulk and mass tarted up with tacky facades that look like cheap renders with Hamptons styled finishes.
Shaw shuffled the architectural drawings in his hands and shrugged his shoulders. “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.” He crunched the drawings with a giant red stamp that read ‘REFUSED’, and then clocked off early because he is a local government employee.
