ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

NSW Premier Chris Minns has declined the opportunity to criticize Gladys Berejiklian this afternoon, despite the NSW Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC) finding her guilty of “serious corruption” and multiple abuses of power.

Mr. Minns addressed the media today on a Sydney Ferry, where he announced his intention to address the issues plaguing the city’s ferry system, which had suffered due to the actions of various state coalition governments over the past decade.

“The new ferries are in a sorry state,” stated the Premier. “Whoever designed these should not be trusted to assemble a shopping cart, let alone a ferry.”

When asked if he had any comments about Gladys Berejiklian, he chuckled and responded, “Well… It would be rather hypocritical for anyone in state politics to pass judgment on Gladys, wouldn’t it? I mean, who among us hasn’t fallen for a charming country lad in a pair of fashionable trousers? Let them cast the first stone. Technically, I could throw a stone at Gladys since that hasn’t happened to me, but you never know. Well, you know…”

“While she may have engaged in a few corrupt actions and potentially harmed numerous koalas—when I say ‘a few,’ I mean a substantial number—she also allowed John Barilaro quite a bit of leeway. The media knows what I’m referring to, don’t you? That John, I tell you, you won’t hear Elgar’s Nimrod playing at his state funeral. Anyway, I’ve said enough.”

“Gladys is alright, you know. It’s like a goldfish; it may appear golden, but it’s just a slippery little creature that you can’t eat without upsetting people. I won’t stand here and throw stones, but Matt Kean needs to find a new direction. Gladys has moved on, brother.”

More to come.

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