WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some breaking news from the ‘home of cricket’ this morning, it can be confirmed that English fast bowler Stuart Broad is now the moral arbiter on what is and isn’t within the ‘spirit of cricket.’
The man known for being a cheat, and bragging about being a cheat, and laughing about being a cheat has come out to reveal that the Australian cricket team are a bunch of bad sports.
The furore comes following Alex Carey’s decision to catch big dopey Johnny Bairstow napping down the wicket before the play is dead.
That legally and morally valid play has incensed the English cricket team and the pompous toffs that made up the crowd at Lords, with unanimous cries of cheating and foul play.
With chants of cheats ringing through the crowd, it was confirmed that everyone had forgotten Bairstow tried to get Marnus out in the exact same fashion earlier this test match, Stuart Broad celebrated wildly when Ollie Pope took a Kiwi wicket in similar circumstances and the spiritual guru Brendon ‘Baz’ McCullum literally whipped the bails of Murali’s stumps when he went to celebrate Kumar Sangakkara making a hundred or when Baz did the exact same thing to Paul Collingwood.
However, all those examples of breaching the spirit of cricket aren’t valid, as England play Bazball and that means they can do whatever they want.
It’s also believed that Stuart Broad refusing to walk after nicking a delivery to FIRST FUCKING SLIP was totally within the spirit of the game, despite it being an incorrect decision in regards to a completely legal decision.
As a result of the above, it has now been definitively confirmed that Australia are a bunch cheating dogs who are ruining the fabric of cricket by being good.
Despite all that England are still philosophically up 2-0 in the Ashes series because they play Bazzzballlllll, ohhhhhhhhhh Bazzzzballllll and are saving cricket from itself.
More to come.
