WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Australian cricket fans have today received a rude shock, after learning that their team is not in fact up 2-0 in the Ashes.
Even worse, Australian cricket fans have been informed that their team is actually 2-0 down!
With 2 of 5 tests played, the Australians now face an uphill battle to win or draw the series, needing results in all remaining matches in England.
This comes after English coach, spiritual guru and the chosen one Brendon ‘Baz’ McCullum revealed that England actually won this week’s test match.
“We actually feel like we won that one too,” said McCullum, roughly a week after claiming that his disciples had won the first game of Ashes cricket.
That claim came in the face of the fact the English technically lost the game, because they scored less runs than the Australian cricket team.
Baz and the boys have revealed however, that they don’t have time for those boring technicalities, and prefer to judge wins and losses on how they feel about the game.
“I mean, if you look at the way the Aussie’s stole Johnny Bairstow’s wicket and the way Stokesy played, we actually won that game I reckon,” said the coach of the team that lost by 43 runs.
“The dumb cheating Aussies don’t play the way we want them to, so I think we were the actual winners,” continued the man who is re-inventing the game of cricket and ignoring all the times in the past he and his players have done or tried to do the exact same thing as the Alex Carey did.
“And we aren’t having lukewarm flat beers with them because of that.”
“Stupid pathetic Aussies”
