LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A local cloud scored a silver lining today as a chicken that lived a short life in the claustrophobic chaos of a factory farm was at least cooked into a chicken parmi.
One of the only animals never in danger of going extinct, chickens raised for meat may only live five weeks, grow so rapidly they are never fully coated in feathers, die without ever feeling the warmth of the sun before suffering the indignity of ending up in a midweek pasta from Super Food Ideas.
But for one well-destined chook amongst the billions that have been slaughtered for millennia, their unwillingly given life has meant that one lucky sod got to enjoy a belter of a parmi.
A combination of German cooking techniques and Italian flavours, a chicken parmi (or parma if you wanna be all fucken’ Melbourne about it) is a Warnie tier pub feed where tomato sauce and cheese are melted on top of a chicken schnitzel.
While the idea of Germany and Italy hanging out again can be troubling to some, for the most part a good old fashioned chicken parmi is the best thing that can be done with the over-accelerated breast of a chicken, as well as the eggs provided for the crumbing.
“You can get a free range parmi for $2 extra,” stated Betoota publican Maxwell Fusen, in what must be a real test for some well-intentioned people.
“But seriously, we put leg ham on ours so either way that’s a really lucky chook you’re eating.”
MORE TO COME.
