LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A double meaning we always suspected has been confirmed today as 63% of the Australian voting population can agree that instant coffee is an instant disappointment.
Known as ‘freeze dried coffee’ in the USA and ‘speedy sand’ in Victoria, instant coffee is a fast and simplified caffeine delivery system which proves the theory that nothing can be simultaneously fast, cheap and of good quality.
According to most people who have drunk instant coffee before a job interview or while visiting a relative, the exact moment that thin and unrobust angry cousin of hot water touches your lips, disappointment, and a bit of regret, sets in.
“Aaaah, it’s drinkable,” stated latte regular Glennice Rooth (26) as she sipped an instant coffee her mum promised was fancy.
“I keep trying to tell her there is no ‘Mocha’ region.”
Upon finding out that her daughter Glennice did not appreciate her ‘fancy coffee’, instant coffee connoisseur Janet Rooth (50) informed her daughter that she wouldn’t waste any more of the fancy stuff on her.
“If that’s how you feel Glennice then I’d like to introduce you to my good friend Robert Timms and his magic coffee tea bags.”
