EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A Betoota Ponds marketing copywriter has had her inner bogan unearthed this morning, after her best mate had the audacity to leave her messages unopened for three hours.
The woman in question, Gwen Marsden [27], was left enraged after coming in hot with a relationship update, complaints about her health, a rant, and some general whimsy musings, only to be completely IGNORED – which is quite frankly, incredibly selfish of her friend who has the audacity to have a life of her own.
“Eughhhh, so I just found out Mr. Smooth Hands is going for a THREE DAY trip with his hot roommate”, she lamented, “and she’s fucking BLONDE!”
“Oh god, I looked at her insta and she’s a rhythmic gymnast.”
“He’s probably bending her into a pretzel as we speak.”
[Twenty two minutes later]
“I keep getting headaches at the front of my head and I don’t know why?”
[Thirty six minutes later]
“You know what’s annoying? Fucking pregnancy plotlines in books. It’s so fucking lazy, it’s like they can’t write a happy ending for a female character without her having a baby. Even in erotic books!!! I don’t want babies, I want FILTH!!”
“Ohhh she’s ‘nauseous’ is she? IN THE FUCKING BIN.”
[Forty eight minutes later]
Do you think it’s true that relationships work better if the man loves the woman more?”
[One hour and twenty four minutes later]
“OI BITCH!”
It’s alleged her Savannah was quick to respond after being angrily summoned, but only answered the last message which was just as annoying.
More to come.
