EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Like many men his age, Betoota Ponds bloke Pat Magooch [48] has found himself joining an acoustic bike gang, after experiencing a heart related health scare six weeks ago.
Having already spent thousands of dollars on the bike, gadgets and cycling gear, Pat had almost ticked off every stereotype when he remembered the most important rule all middle aged cyclists need to adhere to – donning lycra shorts so thin, it shouldn’t be worn in public.
Popping into the Betoota Ponds 99 Bikes store on his lunch break, Pat was seen sifting through multiple clothing racks and trying to determine the thinness of each pair of shorts, before his sighs of frustration prompted an employee to ask of he needed some help.
“Yes”, Pat responded, trying to determine if he could see the manakin’s hump through the shorts fabric, “I’m wondering if you have thinner shorts.”
“I want to make people uncomfortable.”
Seeing the employees puzzled look, Pat explained that he simply wanted to look like he’s ‘encased in sausage skin.’
“My dick and balls need to be visible.”
“I have a large vein on the left hand side, and I’d really like people to be able to see it.”
“I want your best high definition shorts.”
More to come.
