WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The great minds at our nation’s most prominent economic publication, have today moved to quell any concerns about the way our system is being run.
One of the senior economic columnists at the Australian Financial Review has confirmed that giant corporate profits are all part of ‘combatting inflation and getting our economy running smoothly.’
Andrew Mosman-Toorak (76) penned a column this morning, explaining that The Commonwealth Bank’s 10.2 billion dollar profit is all part of the plan.
“For those idiots who don’t subscribe to economic theory, to combat inflation we need to stop poor people spending money,” explained Mosman-Toorak today.
“And one tried and tested way to do that is taking money out of the hands of poor people, and giving it to the banks or giant corporations who are price gouging on their goods and services.”
“The posting of a 10.2 billion dollar profit by the Commonwealth Bank is a sign that things are working as they should, with money shifting from the hands of poor people, to the hands of rich people.”
“That’s how the economy works you neanderthal.”
Mosman-Toorak’s comments come following the bank that used to be owned by the people posting a record profit during a time when families are being pushed off the mortgage cliff or having their rents go through the roof they don’t own.
The giant profit is being attribute to a 0.17 percentage point jump in net interest margins, ie raising the difference between how much they charge for loans and how much they pay for people’s savings.
The minuscule sounding percentage has resulted in a giant profit gain, with the peasants told to just fucking cop it because that’s the way the system works.
“Like it or not, this is they way the system was designed to work,” finished Mosman-Toorak, a 5th generation resident of some leafy upper class suburb who went to one of those sandstone universities where people who benefit from running the system our economy is based on come up with fancy theories about how to maintain the status quo for people like them.
More to come.
