ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | Contact
WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE, RIGHT? RIGHT?!: A local bed-snacker felt the wrath of her snoozetime indulgences this morning, when she woke up and saw an indiscriminate brown sludge with bits in it up her arm.
Immediately thinking the worst (that she’d shat the bed with an explosiveness that would make J. Oppenheimer proud), Betoota Heights local Ellie Jonesenton bolted to the bathroom before her boyfriend/situationship could be roused/rightly disgusted.
Panicked and still in a sleepy haze, Ellie started wiping the brown off her arm with a dry baby wipe because she never closes the lid properly.
Before long though, she realised that the brown was only on her arm, and nowhere else.
“I’m not proud of it but yeah, I took a whiff, just to check”, Ellie tells the Advocate, “and turns out it was melted Twix. I fell asleep on it last night and it melted”.
Surprisingly, this is not the first time this has happened to Ellie, it’s actually a biweekly occurrence, and every single time she assumes it’s poop.
When asked if she would continue on her chocolate-while-falling-asleep pastime, considering the rollercoaster of emotions that happens every time she wakes up, Ellie advised she has no plans of curbing the habit.
“Bed Twix are a dangerous game. It’s high risk but it’s high reward”, Ellie continued.
“Nothing beats falling asleep with that caramely biscuity goodness in your mouth, and a true crime podcast telling you about a man who used to eat womens toes or some shit in your ears”.
The Advocate asked Ellie to comment on the nightmares that likely ensue after consuming the equivalent of a cup of sugar while falling asleep.
“Worth it.”
