ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local man that owns the only Jeep Gladiator in the Betoota Shire Council area has reportedly found the perfect hat to wear on his bald head when he’s driving about town.
French Quarter Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ) instructor, Brett Goink, told The Advocate that he has more than one Goorin Bros trucker hat and that collection has grown by one this afternoon.
Goorin Bros animal-themed trucker hats may showcase a variety of creatures, from farm animals to wildlife, and the designs can range from realistic to more whimsical or artistic interpretations. The inclusion of animal motifs is one of the distinctive features that sets Goorin Bros apart, giving their hats a distinct and recognisable style.
Mr Goink currently has a tiger one, representing his grind mentality. A pigeon hat, representing his memory when it comes to submitting his quarterly business activity statements. A turtle one, representing his never-say-die attitude when it comes to chocking bankers half to death on the floor of his gym – and finally, one of a middle-aged man performing autofellatio while wearing a pair of trendy sandals.
“It represents my Jeep,” he said.
“I look good in it. I don’t even need a ute but because I run it through my business, I got a ute because I wanted to avoid Fringe Benefit tax. I literally use it for no business, it’s all private but that’s not what I tell my accountant or the ATO.”
The 44-year-old’s eyes sharpened and he titled his head.
“I know what you’re thinking. I could’ve got a piece of shit like a Hilux or even a Mercedes X-Class but this Jeep represents over a hundred years of off-roading know-how and it’s the only ute you can buy in Australia that has the war-winning pedigree that the Jeep offers,” he continued.
“Plus, I think it looks tough with my BJJ studio branding down the side of it. It’s high off the ground and I can see everything.”
Mr Goink then told our reporter, unprompted, that he was 179.5cm tall in Cuban heel boots.
“Make sure you add that part because I saw what you said about people who own Ford Rangers. That they’re all manlets. I teach BJJ, I’m not a manlet.”
More to come.
