KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local Dad is kicking stones this evening as he begins to learn how much of a fuck around it is to wheel and deal on Facebook Marketplace.
After being given orders from his wife to clean out his two door garage so that a car actually fits inside, local Dad Ian Stephens made plans to sell off all his unwanted goods.
However after being told by his millennial children that the trading post isn’t really a thing any more, Ian was introduced to the concept of Facebook Marketplace, a platform he’s taken to like a duck to water.
Within two hours of learning how to photograph, upload, then list an item, Ian was completely hooked on the process, which flooded his brain with ten times more dopamine than any SuperCheap Auto catalogue ever has.
But not too long after uploading half of his possessions, Ian was swallowed up by the hoards of time- wasting, tyre-kicking, low-balling locusts that love to take the piss online.
“So I put the fridge up for $150, and this bloke’s asked if I’ll do it cheaper cos he needs to hire a ute!” Ian told our reporter, who was stopping by to pick up Ian’s North Queensland Cowboys themed dartboard for $40.
“Why would I go cheaper if they need to hire a ute, that sounds like a ‘them’ problem!”
Wading through the muck of bots and inbreds asking “Hi, is this available”, Ian came across the full spectrum of weasels who love to waste people’s time on the platform.
“Look at this joker, he wants to pay cash but has asked if I can hold onto it until April when he lands in Australia…”
“Then there’s this clown, Nathaniel from Chadstone, who’s asked if I’ll freight the bloody thing interstate.”
“Selling this fridge is too much hassle, I might as well take it out to the industrial estate tonight, torch it then list it as a new fire pit.”
More to come.
