KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Calls for an emergency share house meeting are growing this week as a group of flatmates deal with the fallout of a wet, uncomfortable weekend.
The Advocate understands three of the four residents of 79 Ashley-Harrison Street in the French Quarter have quite frankly had enough of Duncan Miles, a flatmate they secretly call “Puddles” when he’s not around.
Whether it’s his tendency to leave plates with pizza crust sitting on the lounge room floor for days on end, or his penchant for coating the bathroom mirror with toothpaste spit, Duncan is the grottiest housemate anyone’s ever lived with.
But major issues have come to a head this week after Dunc made a proper mess on Saturday night when he stumbled home from the pub at 2am to spray the bathroom floor with his Guinness-scented piss.
“It’s fcked, I’ve had it!” flatmate Claire Venroy shot into a side chat with her two other more hospitable housemates.
“I was getting ready for the gym on Sunday morning and walked through that lake of piss in my yoga socks.”
“Yeah and there’s a thai green curry in the fridge that’s turned fluro,” added housemate Haylee.
After being given a stern warning two months ago about leaving some cocaine residue on the kitchen bench right before one of the housemate’s parents came over, the share house is now voting on whether to give him the boot unless he can bring home a stolen TV from his job at Bing Lee.
“I know he owns the TV but it’s only a 40 inch,” piped in the usually silent flatmate Cam.
“Unless he can get us a big 85”, he’s really not worth keeping around.”
More to come.
