CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Once known simply as a ‘mattress company’ – the DeRUCCI Group now describes themselves as ‘sleep technology brand’ at the forefront of all sleep technology, whatever the hell that is.
At some point the brand name also changed from ‘De Rucci’ to DeRUCCI.
However, their heavily-marketed innovative edge is admittedly undeniable now – as DeRUCCI launches the world’s most comfortable mattress.
Ideally, a human will spend a third of their day in bed, so picking the best possible mattress to keep you comfortable and well-rested is a huge decision. Well, ponder no more! Because the DeRUCCI CRISPY has been rated the number 1 mattress by the thousands of recently divorced men and long-term bachelors.
Inspired by the yellowing pillows that boyfriends clings onto when they are finally rescued from the wild, the new line allows owners the option to just use it without any covers, if they’ve forgotten to take their washing off the line.
DeRUCCI CRISPY has the same inconsistent colours, inconsistent stuffing, and constantly changing shape of the boyfriend pillow, and makes for a restorative and soothing half-pissed sleep.
The new product is believed to have been the brainchild of the mythical Mr DeRucci, a man who looks like Steve Jobs but is apparently from China, and appears on every single advertisement the company has ever produced.
The Betoota Advocate spoke to the elderly man of non-Chinese origin behind this Chinese company about the advantages of the new mattress.
“The CRISPY offers the kind of deep sleep that can only be achieved after an evening flight home from a three day bucks party” said Mr DeRUCCI.
“It’s crispy, it’s yellowy, and it can fold into any shape you want”
“The lumpy, ball-like texture and comfort that women simply cannot understand”
