EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A bloke who just started dating an English girl has unfortunately had to give up ever having anything pristine white in his apartment, after having both his toilet seats and sheets absolutely decimated by fake tan.
Speaking to The Advocate, a frustrated Jason Ellis says his girlfriend’s fake tan addiction is so bad, he doesn’t think he’ll be getting his bond deposit back anytime soon – seeing as anything white in his apartment looks like it’s been splattered with flecks of shit.
“It’s fucking everywhere. The walls, the floor – even my doors.”
“I know exactly where she’s been by just following the trail of fake tan.”
Letting out a rather exaggerated sigh, Jason says he understands the whole need to be tan, but that he personally thinks she looks better without it.
“Look, I get it, there’s definitely a preconceived idea of what being attractive in Australia looks like, and I can’t fault her for wanting to fit in.”
“But my sheets smell like expired coconut.”
More to come.
