EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A local woman has found herself feeling irrationally jealous of a bag of fruit this afternoon, which has her now evaluating the state of her mental health.
Annette Ploughmann, 32, says she’d tried everything to get her hubby in the mood, including lingerie, naughty messages and one session with a local sex therapist, but after two years of little to no action, she’d simply given up and accepted that they were roommates now.
Which, in this economic climate, was the preferable option to splitting.
However, despite telling herself she had accepted her dead bedroom relationship, Annette was shocked to discover she was still harbouring quite a lot of resentment – stating that she had an almost ‘visceral’ reaction to seeing her hubby rip open a bag of avocados with a passion he once had reserved for her.
“He was like an animal”, says Annette, her eyes brimming with tears, “I heard this roar come from the kitchen, and there he is just tearing open a bag of avocados.”
“Why the fuck does fruit come in those fishnet stockings?”
“Why couldn’t that be me?”
More to come.
