ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A bored teenager from Betoota Heights has shocked the local community by discovering a revolutionary lifehack: getting a job and buying a car instead of stealing one.
Tom Jenkins, 17, has become the unlikely hero of this story, turning his back on the town’s traditional pastime of petty crime. Sitting opposite our reporter at the Glengarry Hotel, Jenkins recounted his epiphany.
“I was lying on the couch, bored out of my mind, and I thought, there’s gotta be more to life than this,” he said.
“Then it hit me, what if I got a job?”
Armed with this novel idea, Jenkins strolled into La D’beetus, the French Quarter’s favourite fast-food joint and landed a part-time rolling crepes and making poutine.
“It was weird at first,” he admitted.
“People were actually paying me to do stuff. I’d never experienced anything like it. It was like I was outsmarting the system.”
With his newfound income, Jenkins bypassed the allure of instant gratification from energy drinks and video game loot boxes, meticulously saving up his earnings. After several months, he achieved what many of his peers had never even considered. He bought his own car.
“I couldn’t believe it,” Jenkins said, grinning proudly as he stood next to his secondhand Holden Captiva.
“It’s a real softcock’s car but it was the cheapest one they had. But it’s mine. I paid for it with my own money.”
The old Captiva, known locally for it’s ability to transform single mothers into undischarged bankrupts, has a bit of a reputation. Jenkins had heard the stories – seizing, timing chains slipping off and bricking the engine, and all manner of mechanical bedlam. But he was undeterred.
“It looks cool.”
Local authorities are reportedly thrilled with this unexpected turn of events.
“If more teens follow Tom’s example, we could see a significant drop in vehicle thefts,” said Senior Constable Rachel Evans.
“It’s a win-win for everyone.”
Jenkins’ discovery has sparked a wave of interest among his friends.
“Tom’s a legend,” said his mate Jake.
“I never thought about getting a job, but now I’m thinking it might not be such a bad idea.”
As for Jenkins, he’s already planning his next big move.
“I’m thinking about saving up for a holiday,” he said.
“Who knew working could actually get you things? A holiday is much easier to steal than some fat lawyer’s BMW!”
In a town where youth are often criticised for their lack of direction and ambition, Tom Jenkins’ innovative approach might just be the spark that ignites a new trend.
More to come.
