ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In a shocking society news this morning, Hugo Montgomery, the scion of the affluent Montgomery Farms, is reportedly considering abandoning his calling for a relationship with Laney, a local McDonald’s employee. This surprising romance has become the latest sensation in certain parts of town, some in the upmarket Betoota Grove CWA have labelled it “Shakespearean”.
Hugo Montgomery, whose family has been synonymous with agricultural success for generations, arrived back in town on school holidays a few days ago. He’s been seen frequently at the Green Road McDonald’s, where Laney Campbell works as a cashier. The burgeoning relationship between the blue-blooded farm boy and the humble town mouse has sparked widespread discussion and intrigue.
“It’s certainly got people talking. The Montgomerys are practically royalty here, and Laney’s a townie through and through. Works at Maccas, rides her bike to work, and doesn’t have a care for the brown-boot, picnic races set,” said Bill Thompson, a local butcher.
“Her Dad manages civil works for the council and her Mum’s a nurse. The Campbells are good people but not ones you’d expect to be eating crustless smoked salmon sandwiches at the polo.”
The Montgomery family is known for their conservative values and high social standing. On a visit to Betoota in 2014, then Prime Minister Tony Abbott stayed with the family. Hugo’s parents are reportedly displeased with his newfound interest in going to McDonalds three times a day. A close family friend disclosed, “They had hopes he would marry someone from a similar background, maybe from another prominent farming family. Someone like the Davidsons or even those Catholic O’Learys. But instead, he’s enamoured with a girl whose idea of a good time is doing mainies around town in her older sister’s Hyundai i30.”
Despite familial disapproval, Hugo’s feelings seem steadfast. Witnesses have seen him leaving the Montgomery estate late at night, trading his riding boots for sneakers, to meet Laney behind the McDonald’s carpark. They’ve been spotting sitting together in the tray of Hugo’s 2020 70 Series Landcruiser, under the fluorescent glow of the Golden Arches. Laney reportedly brings him food out which he doesn’t have to pay for. Hugo brings her fresh farm eggs and a bag of frozen forequarter chops he nicked out of the deep freeze in the shed.
Rumors suggest the Montgomerys are considering sending Hugo back to his elite private boarding school early to distance him from Laney. Or to send him on the skiing camp, despite him not being able to identify which end is forward on a ski. Or to his uncle’s farm near Blackall. However, the town of Betoota watching, wondering if love will triumph against the odds.
More to come.
