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Former Australian Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has maintained his militant sobriety, and is this week clocking up 5 full months off the piss.
Joyce’s decision to ditch his beloved amber ale came after an embarrassing incident early this year, where the Member For New England was filmed lying across a busy Canberra footpath in a state of drunken stupor.
Speaking to the media last month about his experiences on the wagon, Joyce discussed the challenges of maintaining sobriety and his difficulties in social settings.
“I’ve given up smoking, I’ve given up alcohol. Life is incredibly boring having to actually talk to people at functions” he said.
However, despite having to spend up to four nights a week enduring the excruciating agony of actually talking about agriculture without a drop of full strength beer in his system – Barnaby has not lost his zest for life.
Just these days, there’s a little shouting and hyena-like laughing.
It would appear that Barnaby Joyce has emerged from the bitter North-West New South Wales winter as somewhat of an enlightened man.
With more time to enjoy the simple things, local voters say the new ‘Sober Barnaby’ has developed a reputation as an avid reader, painter and raconteur.
Barnaby’s newfound penchant for the arts and culture have only been confirmed by Tamworth artist Gabby Blocke, who claims to have lent the local MP a full set of water colour paints to help develop his own practice.
“It’s not uncommon to see him with his easel and paintbrush down at Peel River” says Mrs Locke.
“He’s shown me some wonderful landscape paintings of the ducks and Lone Pine trees in Bicentennial Park”
With a new set of cultured friends who exist outside the macho National Party machine, Barnaby Joyce is nowadays more likely to be spotted at a gallery opening, or a spoken word poetry reading than at the front bar of the Southgate Hotel.
“He’s different man” says a source close to the MP.
“He’ll still send his staffers down to the pub at knock off, but Barnaby is more interested in staying at home with a cup of tea and perfecting his chicken and quinoa braise casserole”
And it’s fair to say this is more than a phase, after Barnaby Joyce found himself seated alone at the Palace Verona cinema in Paddington last night, after rushing to book tickets for the 2024 Saxo Scandinavian Film Festival.
“This one is supposed to be a ripper” he was overheard telling a likeminded Nordic cinephile as they lined up to take their seats at the Australian premiere of 2023 Norwegian film ‘The Riot’ last night.
“I’ve always been fascinated by the escalation of tensions leading to the Sulis uprising of 1907. It changed Norway forever”
