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In an unprecedented move, Spain has deployed military forces to Ibiza, Majorca, Benidorm and several other Southern Spanish towns in response to a wave of upset British expats that have erupted following Spain’s victory over England in the Euro Cup final.
The normally tranquil Mediterranean resort towns, known for their pristine beaches and large British expat retiree populations have been transformed into battlegrounds of British unrest overnight.
The catalyst for the uproar was Spain’s triumph in the Euro final, a smooth victory celebrated with elation by the Spanish but met with drunkenly violent outrage by many sunburnt Brits living on the Iberian peninsula .
Local authorities were ill-prepared for the onslaught. In Ibiza, the iconic Pacha nightclub was besieged by a mob of heartbroken middle aged poms, chanting “It’s coming home!” as they attempted to storm the DJ booth.
Meanwhile, in Majorca, sunbeds were flipped and beach balls were burst by disgruntled British women.
The Spanish government, recognizing the seriousness of all this, swiftly mobilized troops to restore order.
Tanks rolled down the boulevards of Alicante, and soldiers were stationed at key strategic points, including kebab shops and Irish pubs with the intention to protect local Spanish businesses and residential homes.
General Sergio Puyol (56), leading the military operation, addressed the nation.
“We must restore peace to Spain” he declared.
“The geezer tantrums have reached critical levels. We cannot allow the sanctity of our southern towns to be compromised by this unprecedented display of British entitlement”
Despite the heavy military presence, many geezers remained undeterred at the time of press, with makeshift road blocks being built and groups forming to loudly discuss how they were once again cheated.
Spontaneous renditions of “God Save the King” are echoing through the streets.
One Brit, identified only as “Big Dave from Birmingham,” has chained himself to a beach lounge in a valiant act of defiance.
