CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the Paris Olympics get underway, Queenslanders are still unsure of where in the fuck we are going to be hosting tourists and athletes from every single country in the world when it’s Brisbane’s turn to host the 2032 games.
With only eight years to go under the Olympic flame arrives in Brisbane, the preparations have become a political football.
With a State Opposition that would prefer for Queensland to humiliate ourselves on a global stage to score some cheap points over the current government, and droves of entitled yuppies protesting against having their inner-city enclaves polluted by tradesmen for the next couple years – it seems that nobody has been able to agree on anything.
Except for the fact that it looks like we will be hosting all athletics events at QSAC stadium in Nathan, an outer-metropolitan sporting facility that’s only claim to fame was hosting the Brisbane Broncos home matches when they were playing in Rupert Murdoch’s short-lived rebel ‘Super League’
Since then, it has become the number one venue for primary school sports carnivals. As well as this, the facilities are often used as to host exams for the nearby Griffith University’s criminology students.
But that’s not to say that QSAC isn’t surrounded by a thriving nightlife precinct capable of hosting millions of foreign visitors. Don’t let the 58 minute public transport commute from Brisbane International airport fool you. This place is popping!
Here’s 9 of the best nearby tourist destinations that are just a short stroll from Brisbane’s favourite semi-rural athletics track!
1. Mount Gravatt Cemetery and Crematorium
Nestled in the scrublands begin QSAC sits the famous Mt Gravatt cemetery. Just a short 15-20 minute walk from the stadium, this boasts to be the resting place of six Commonwealth service personnel of WW2. As well as the grave of former National Party backbencher Roy Armstrong MP (1914 – 1991). It’s a MUST SEE.
2. Quality Hotel Robertson Gardens
Not only is there endless dining and entertainment venues in Brisbane’s outer-southern rim, there’s also more than enough accommodation. Obviously first cab off the rank is the famous Quality Hotel on Kessell’s road. Let the Kookaburra’s serenade you, and the free hand sanitizer cleanse you. Quality Hotel Robertson Gardens offers an outdoor pool and an onsite bar/restaurant. Guests enjoy rooms with satellite TVs, microwave and fridge – with 24-hour check-in. But don’t sit on your hands, this place will be booked out the moment we are 100% certain we are actually hosting the games.
3. UNIBAR at Griffith University
The closest place to get a decent feed and a cold beer is 35 minutes walk away. On any given night, the Griffith UNIBAR could be hosting trivia or karaoke. Or if you’re lucky enough, extreme binge drinking. But it’s not all yahoos and party people, this esteemed higher-learning institution is also home to thousands of international students from Mainland China and the subcontinent. Sit back and listen to exciting fables from lands far away as the local crowd spin yarns about being the teenage sons and daughters of foreign industrialists who are keeping our education system afloat.
4. Namaste Astrologer Centre
Just twenty minutes walk through the McGregor Industrial estate, you’ll find the Namaste Astrologer Centre. While on the outsiide, this place appears to just be a pre-war suburban home. Inside, visitors can find themselves being treated to the a range specialty treatments in Kundali Matching, Tarot Astrology, Dice Reading and Medical Astrology. This is the type of stuff you just can’t get in inner-city Brisbane. Who needs major public transport infrastructure when you can get a psychic reading from a home expert.
5. CRANK Indoor Rockclimbing
Just a bit further down the 4-lane major arterial known as Kessels road sits CRANK – the the home of Rock Climbing, Bouldering & Ninja Warrior. This is the ideal post-Olympics activity, providing they stay open long enough after you’ve just witnessed a world reckon being broken by a Jamaican sprinter or Russian poll vaulter. CRANK’s wals range from 8 to 12m high. They offer low angle slabs, vertical and gentle overhangs. Your adventure awaits!
6. Gel City – Australia’s Number 1 Gel Bal Field
Ahhhhhhhhhh, sickkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! Finished watching the hype of a 100 metre final and pumped up on adrenaline? Head to Gel City and empty a few rounds with family our friends. Only a 4k walk from QSAC, so you’ll certainly be warm by the time you get there!
7. D.M Henderson BMX Pump Track At Macgregor
A track for all sorts. Want to emulate the athletic feats of your favourite athletes? Well head down to D.M Henderson and tail whip that shit baby! Just a stones throw from QSAC, D.M Hendo is a serious venue for the outdoor athletes.
8. Montezuma’s Mexican Restaurant & Bar – Mt Gravatt
Did somebody say Tacos, Coronas and Marrrrrrgaritttasssssssss? Yes please. We’ll take all of the aforementioned thank you very much! Boasting one of Australia’s largest selections of Mexican beer and an array of Mexican food, Montezuma’s is a must. Oh, and we hear you spice guys and girls – they’ve got a spice menu! Look out.
9. Sunnybank Hotel
There would be no better way to cap off a day of Olympic Celebration, than with a couple of cold glass sandwiches at the Sunnybank Hotel. Just a 1.8 kilometre stroll down the road, the good people at the Sunny will quench that thirst you’ve worked up. Eat, drink and stay at the Sunnybank hotel and enjoy the 2032 Olympics in style.
