ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The government has clarified that the our stubborn inflation rates are primarily due to the spending habits of Baby Boomers depleting their children’s inheritance, rather than any excessive corporate profiteering.
Treasurer Jimothy Chalmers addressed the nation yesterday, highlighting the true cause of inflation.
“We need to be clear about this,” he said.
“It’s not corporate greed driving prices up, but rather Boomers indulging in lavish lifestyles funded by their children’s future wealth. Raising interest rates is supposed to push down discretionary spending and thus pushing inflation down but that only works when the majority of people are mortgage holders. That’s not true in this economy anymore. Therefore, it’s rich Baby Boomers causing problems for everyone.”
Government officials pointed to various factors such as post-pandemic supply chain disruptions, rising energy costs, and labor shortages, but emphasised that these were secondary to the impact of Boomer spending.
“While companies are merely trying to stay afloat with modest profit margins, like the Commonwealth Bank making a record $10bn and Qantas slaving away to make a $1bn on $10bn revenue. It’s the unchecked spending on luxury items and holidays by Boomers that’s really driving inflation,” Chalmers explained.
The housing market, long a point of contention, has also been affected by this phenomenon. Property prices have escalated as Boomers, flush with disposable income, continue to invest in real estate.
“It’s not the developers or property investors at fault here,” an insider noted.
“It’s the retirees buying second and third homes, pushing prices out of reach for younger generations. All over the country, young families are getting ‘Boomer’d’ at auctions. Just when they think they’ve bought their first home, some greedy grey-haired pig swoops in and blows everyone out of the water.”
In response to these trends, the Reserve Bank of Australia (RBA) has been raising interest rates to temper the economic impact.
“We recognise the challenges this presents,” an RBA spokesperson said.
“But we must address the root cause of inflation, which in this case, is the spending patterns of a specific demographic.”
A local grey nomad responded with dismay to the government’s assertions.
“It’s disappointing to see such blame placed on our generation,” they said.
“We’ve worked hard and saved diligently. Now we’re being criticised for enjoying the benefits of our efforts. If young people today had the chance to steal wealth from their parents and their children, they probably would do it, just like we did.”
More to come.
