WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The humble Queensland town of Mackay has politely told the rest of Australia to ‘get a dog up ya’ today.
The jewel of the Sunshine State’s Central Coast has issued the statement in a friendly but deadly serious manner, as it asserts its status as ‘Australia’s Most Olympic Town.’
“Absolutely no question about it,” laughed Mackay resident Dane Cherry-Evans.
“Mackay is easily the most accomplished Olympic town this country has.”
‘“Obviously I’m talking contextually, ie per capita.”
“Mackay’s influence on medal tallies, popular culture and Olympic Spirit, is second to none given our population.”
“Do the names Cathy Freeman and, Meg Harris and Claire Colwill ring a bell to you?”
“Yeah of course they do, because they are some of the greatest to ever do it for the country.”
“Meg Harris just won another Gold Medal for us, and she’ll hopefully win another one in the Splash and Dash.”
“They try and claim her down south, but she’s Mackay’s.”
“Our Opal Marianna Tolo is still getting it done on both ends of the court as well.”
The rather strong claim from Mackay has drawn sharp criticism from around the nation.
“Hahahahaha” laughed the South Australian town of Loxton.
“They’ve got like 80,000 people.”
“They aren’t a town, and they’ve got the same amount of Olympians in Paris as us.”
“And we’ve got 4,000 people.”
The Southern Capital of Brisbane has also chimed in, suspiciously trying to claim it’s ‘big town’ status.
“Look at our stats,” said Brisbane.
“We match Sydney and Melbourne with like a third of the people.”
Plenty of other towns from Allora to Port Hedland have since offered statements to The Advocate with the CSIRO now officially commissioned to create a report on who actually holds the title.
Who do you think is the most Olympic town?
More to come.
