ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Betoota Grove father Terry Douglas has just finished reburying the weapons cache he keeps in the backyard as world markets entered freefall yesterday, leaving the 59-year-old wondering if this was the big one we’ve all been waiting for.
Japan’s Nikkei went up like a cheap Christmas tree next to a heater yesterday on news that the US economy is chugging along with the youthful virility of Clive Palmer jogging up some steps. That led local markets to follow, with the ASX having its worst day since the world shut down in early 2020.
But things are on the improve this morning; the Nikkei has bounced like a salaryman hitting the pavement at terminal velocity. Wall Street feels silly and embarrassed that they got so spooked. The ASX might shed another percent, creating some once-in-a-year bargains on blue chips.
Closer to home, Terry told The Advocate that he too got spooked and immediately went outside looking for his shovel.
“I’ve got a Smith & Wesson Model 60 in .357 up in the wardrobe and a box with my AR-15 in it out in the backyard. I saw that sell-off and I thought this was it. It was the end of this property ponzi, end of this gratuitous debt-riddled economy, I thought the markets had finally worked Australia out,” he said.
“So out I went to dig up the old Venezuelan credit card. My AR-15. We got it here bit by bit hidden in auto parts from America. I think every responsible homeowner needs one. When you need to defend your home and your property, who you gonna call? The police? Do you think I’ll be tapping my Credit Suisse credit card on the reader at Woolworths when society collapses? No, I’ll be pushing a trolley full of food out the door, and if anyone wants to stop me, they’ll be getting a 5.56mm through the bridge of their nose. I’ve cut the tips of the bullets off with a pair of tin snips so their head will burst like that silly submarine did on the way down to the Titanic.”
“Thankfully, that didn’t happen this time.”
More to come.
