MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
An English migrant in Spain that still can’t even count to 10 in Spanish has today packed his bags and returned back to his nation of origin for the first time in 12 years to violently protest migrants and people not accepting the British way of life.
Like many Brits, Gareth Roche (43) made the move to the Iberian peninsula over a decade ago when he realised how much the move would improve his life. Naturally, Gareth has had some culture shock moving to the southern European nation and has tended to stick around his own people more often than not.
Despite Gareth’s migration to this foreign land, the news of violent racist protests in his birth city of Hull has tickled his inner geezer.
Within days Gareth had a Ryanair flight booked to join his friends in making sure migrants assimilate and to take back his country. Well, former country.
While enjoying a full English breakfast at a British pub on the shores of Majorca, Gareth explained that he was excited for the trip back to his homeland.
“Yeah mate, these people just need to learn to fit in!” Gareth said before turning to one of the Spanish workers at the pub and yelling at them.
“Um, Waiter!! Waiter! Yes, you. You speak English? Ok, Do you have any HP Sauce?? I need HP Sauce, this a full English, you need HP sauce” Gareth exclaimed before turning back his attention to the reporter.
“So yeah, basically, I need to go home to burn shit so these bloody foreigners actually start respecting us Brits!”
As protests continue to erupt up and down the country that are fuelled by a far-right still licking their wounds from a failed election campaign and some good old fashioned mis-information, many overseas Brits, from Coogee, To Magaluf and to Bali, are lending their support.
“Mate we just lost the Euros, Nigel was robbed and these bloody migrants aren’t even making an effort to adopt the British way of life! I mean, what do you expect is going to happen! We always make an effort to fit in wherever we go!”
