WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
The Sydney Metro line is finally open!
After years and years of waiting, the City of Sydney is at last set to be transformed by the shiny new project.
With snazzy new stations and driverless trains, the new Metro is a 15.5km underground line connecting Sydenham in Sydney’s inner west to Chatswood in its north.
It will link up with the already operating metro line from Chatswood to Tallawong in the deep north of the nation’s shittest city.
However, while the 21 billion dollar project has been hailed as a futuristic game changer for the city and the people who commute into the CBD, operators of the line have promised to make sure it stays authentic to Sydney.
“In honour of the great history of public transport (that’s mostly all been sold), we are ensuring that random but very extensive delays will be a major part of the new metro,” explained Premier Chris Minns.
“While the government has paid handsomely for this snazzy new line, we’ve made sure to hand the contract to run the services out to privately run multinationals.”
“And they’ve informed us that they’ll make sure the routine and regular delays and outages along the network are a staple of this new metro service.”
“It’s what Sydneysiders know and love, and so that’s why we want to ensure that we stay authentic to the city.”
The random delay has yet to be allocated to a day, but is believed to be a Thursday or Friday arvo peak hour commute when people just want to get home.
More to come.
