EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A bloke who’s never done a team sport in his life has today told some porkies about his physical prowess, after prying coworkers implored why he kept rubbing his lower back and wincing in pain.
Tim Bernthal, an insurance analyst at Bunghole Brokers, tells The Advocate that he’d somehow woken up with a severely pinched nerve in his lower back this morning, despite not having done any heavy lifting or physical activity in four days.
Tim says he was so shocked and dismayed at this sudden taste of mortality, that he found herself rambling on about ‘tearing himself up on the footy field’, when queried by a very concerned receptionist.
“How the fuck do you hurt yourself in your sleep?”, asks an incredulous Tim, “I’m only 31 for Christ’s sake.”
“It’s so embarrassing. I ended up telling them that I stacked it playing footy.”
“I’ve never played team sports in my life.”
More to come.
