WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A young man from Betoota Plains has today found himself wandering through what feels like another universe.
After a rather large weekend that left him discombobulated and disoriented, Paul Ralston (27) says he’s been rattled by the world he finds himself in.
“I know I consumed far too much of everything on Friday and Saturday night, but I just can’t wrap my head around the Nationals calling for a private company to sell one of their assets,” he sighed.
“And then the Labor party calling the Nationals and Liberals crazy for wanting to intervene in the private market.”
“What in the fuck is going on.”
This comes after National’s Bridget Mckenzie and Barnaby Joyce called for Qantas to be forced to sell off Jetstar, to encourage market competition and ensure cheaper flights for ordinary Australians.
Shadow Transport Minister Mckenzie made the call in the AFR this morning, which has since been walked back by her party Leader David Littleproud in a great display of a well run political machine.
This follows on a couple of months after Peter Dutton called for divestiture powers to be introduced for the Supermarket sector – a demand Prime Minister Albanese said was ‘super-marxist.’
“What the fuck is this flipping of roles?” asked confused local man Ralston.
“Why are the free market profiteers demanding private companies do things to limit their profits and the party supposedly for the working class refusing to intervene?”
“Is this just class baiting from the Coalition?”
“Are they going to start calling for a super tax on resources companies?”
“Have I been sucked into an alternate universe?”
“What’s even real anymore?”
Our reporter then assured the young man that he’d just had a big weekend and not to worry about it.
No more to come.
