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After months of exciting side-shows, The 2024 AFL Grand Final is here.

The action kicks off tomorrow at 2:30pm AEST – and will be taking place at the biggest stadium in Australia. the MCG.

However, as is sadly now often the case with Australia’s most important cultural events – there has been a last minute change to the line up.

What was supposed a 125-year anniversary since the last time the Swans and Lions featured together at the 1899 VFL Grand Final, has instead resulted in a scramble from event organisers.

This comes as the Brisbane Lions revealed they will not be stepping on the chartered plane that was booked to take them from the Gabba to the G today – and have pulled out at the last minute.

Unfortunately Melbourne’s local currency, the Victorian Dollar has weakened greatly this week as the state continues it’s descent in cultural irrelevance – which first began when the culinary institution ‘The Olive Jar’ previously known as La Contadina Italian Restaurant, officially closed in Carlton earlier this year.

The fact that Victoria also has a CCP-style one-party political system, and not one football team good enough to make the semi-finals, has definitely not helped boost morale – or their struggling dollar.

It is for this reason that one of the two headliners of this weekend’s grand final, who are usually based in the economically booming Queensland capital, simply cannot justify making the trip down to Melbourne.

The Brisbane Lions have apologised greatly to their devoted fans who were looking forward to the show, but unfortunately the measly financial returns of appearing at the MCG this weekend were just not worth the long flight.

AFL CEO Andrew Dillon has had to act quickly today, to ensure a replacement act that ticketholders will accept as comparable to the Brisbane Lions in full flight. A replacement act who doesn’t have to travel as far to put on a show.

I can now be confirmed that he has found just that. In the Adelaide Hills. Or Hilltops, if you will.

“We just got off the phone to Suffa” said the AFL boss, during a live interview with a panicked Mick Molloy on Triple M.

“I don’t wanna say how much we offered them. I don’t wanna say how much they asked for”

“But we got them. The 2024 AFL Grand Final will go on”

“And the Hilltop Hoods will have us bouncing like bed springs on a honeymoon”

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