EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A local bloke stands accused of having some warped priorities day, as it’s discovered he cares a lot more about maintaining lawn stripes than doing standard household chores like making the bed once in a while.
Having recently purchased a small two bedroom home in the outer ridges of Betoota ponds with his wife Sarah, Steven Fortunati, 36, has quickly found himself taking to ‘lawn care’ to the point where he’s now signed up to multiple lawn care newsletters and ‘lawn porn’ Facebook groups.
Steven, of course, has defended his commitment to keeping a trim lawn, stating that it’s essentially the first thing a person sees when they visit his home, and that ‘nobody’s looking in their bedroom anyway.’
The Advocate speaks to him to learn more about this middle aged phenomenon.
“I just don’t see the point of making the bed if I’m going to sleep in it again”, explains Steven, “nor do I see the point of washing towels.”
“If they’re drying me when I’m clean, aren’t they always getting washed?”
Taking a swig of his coffee, Steven’s expression suddenly grows dark as he stares wistfully off into the distance.
“I…I think the real reason why I enjoy maintaining my lawn is because it’s the only thing in my life that offers instant, tangible results”, says Steven, softly, ‘the moment I start up the mower, everything else fades away.’
“There’s something deeply calming about the repetition, the smell of fresh-cut grass, and the satisfaction of seeing clean, even lines appear beneath my feet. It’s the one time I can clear my head and just focus on the task at hand.”
“If only everything in life was that simple.”
More to come.
