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It’s been reported that anyone sporting one of those privacy screen protectors is either a drug dealer or a cheater, with no middle ground in sight.
The black tint, designed to prevent prying eyes from glimpsing the contents of one’s screen, has inadvertently become the new mark of suspicious intent.
“It’s like wearing a sign that says, ‘I have something to hide,’” said Darren Briggs (26), a proud anti-privacy screen advocate.
“Last week, a guy with one of those protectors was scrolling through his phone while sitting next to me on the bus. What’s he hiding? Who does he think he is?”
Local law enforcement has been quick to capitalise on the new found correlation.
“We are building a database, a big database.. Of anyone that owns one of these things” Said detective Yates (70), a veteran cop.
“If you’ve purchased one of these screen protectors we know you’ve done something, the walls are closing in, we are coming, and we are going to know what you’ve done eventually” detective Yates proudly proclaimed.
In the meantime, privacy screen users like Dean Johnson (26) are simply hoping to enjoy their digital privacy without the added drama.
“I just wanted to read my emails in peace,” he explained.
“Now I’m the centre of a conspiracy theory. I’m being persecuted”
