ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Staying in Betoota’s finest roadside accommodation, 27-year-old Chad Reynolds made one thing abundantly clear this morning. He’s not sitting in the stained, suspiciously shiny chair to put his shoes on, thank you very much.
Checking into Motel Yorba on the outskirts of our cosmopolitan inland port city, Chad was already uneasy with the suggestive nightly rate.
“Sixty-nine dollars? Really? Real mature,” Chad muttered to himself as he jangled the door open.
“Nobody does that anymore and if they do, they don’t brag about it.”
But it wasn’t the rate that got him, nor the flickering neon sign outside his window. The final straw for this self-respecting young man was the ominous imprint on the cloth chair by the desk — a perfect, pale outline of human buttocks, left as a haunting memento from previous guests.
“Oh fuck me,” Chad grimaced, locking eyes with the haunting imprint.
“Someone’s actually used that for it’s designated purpose. Do watch their life partner get taken to town by a truck driver or female equivalent. Some people!”
Opting for the less suspicious seating arrangement, Chad proudly perched himself on the edge of the bed, like any normal young man or woman would.
After all, only “cucks” would subject themselves to that kind of perverted discomfort, he reasoned.
“Not me,” he laughed, looking at the chair as he laced up his Hush Puppies with deliberate care.
“I’m not getting cuck juice on my suit.”
As he finished tying his scuffed formal shoes, Chad reflected on the motel’s many quirks, from the mismatched towels to the rogue cigarette burn on the windowsill.
“Mirrors on the ceiling, too,'” Chad thought, mildly horrified, but also oddly comforted by the fact that he wasn’t shelling out more than 69 Australian pesos to stay here.
Despite his misgivings, Chad admits that Motel Yorba has its upside.
“Looks like my breakfast is coming through the hatch in the door, like I’m at Goulburn Supermax. I like that, actually,”
“Oh fuck, the bus’ll be here in 5 minutes.”
More to come.
