CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT
Betoota Hills local Tim Davids (29) has unlocked a new tier of adulthood, achieving the perfect mix of disposable income, existential boredom, and loneliness required to really “get into watches.”
Newly single after what he described as “a mutual, totally chill breakup” (she dumped him), Tim says he’s found comfort in the mechanical hum of automatic chronographs.
“I’ve always been into watches,” he insists, despite only owning a Casio gifted by his nan—until a fortnight ago.
The transformation didn’t go unnoticed. “He’s dropping words like ‘moon phase’ and ‘calibre’ in casual conversation,” says mate Josh. “It’s like the breakup rattled him more than he’s letting on.”
Having sunk several grand into a Rolex he calls “an investment piece,” Tim has dedicated himself to the fine art of judging other people’s inferior wristwear.
“It’s not about flexing,” he says earnestly. “It’s about appreciating craftsmanship and legacy—or at least looking like someone who’s got it together.”
His Instagram is now flooded with wrist shots—usually taken against the steering wheel of his fully-financed BMW—captioned with life-affirming quotes like, “success is what you make of it.”
Friend’s report he’s also joined niche watch forums, casually throwing around terms like “patina” and “vintage steel,” despite not yet figuring out how to set the date on his new Rolex.
“I’m not trying to buy happiness,” Tim mutters to himself at 3 AM, scrolling eBay for a limited-edition Breitling.
“But, you know… it doesn’t hurt.”
