CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT
A local woman’s newfound love for a gym franchise has become the hottest topic among her friends, colleagues, and pretty much anyone who accidentally makes eye contact with her. Jas Carlton (25) has recently started doing F45, and in case you didn’t know she’s doing F45. She went to F45 this morning. And yesterday morning. And will go every morning this week.
“It’s literally life-changing!” Jas tells her barista that morning, whilst wearing her F45 hoodie and holding her F45 water bottle. “You get such a good workout in just 45 minutes, you know!”
“It’s strength and HIIT in one! I’ve found my tribe there—I love it!” Jess later declares to a group of disinterested colleagues in the kitchen.
One colleague, who wishes to remain anonymous, commented, “Honestly, I think she’s in a cult. It’s like F45 is her new religion. She’s always preaching about it, and if you don’t go, you’re basically missing out on life.”
Her Instagram stories are flooded with post-workout selfies, each adorned with captions like “F45 fam for life!” and “in case you didn’t know, I just crushed another F45 session!”
When questioned about her sudden commitment to the cause, Jas responded with an almost eerie intensity, “It’s a lifestyle now!” “Did I mention I go to F45”?”
And yes, she mentioned it again just now, she’s at F45 in the morning, in case you didn’t know she’s doing F45 yeah so she was at F45 this morning.
