WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
CLIENT WIN: The entire Betoota Advocate staffroom has today taken Monday afternoon off, after receiving its annual lifeline.
With the first Tuesday in November now upon us, The Advocate has this week welcomed its eagerly awaited, yearly million dollar cheque from the Gambling Lobby.
Landing in the first week of November every single year, the cheque is payable for The Advocate’s favourable coverage of the Melbourne Cup.
Despite running stories like “Clag Truck Idles Out The Back Of Flemington Stables”, “Man Waits With Shotgun At The Finish Line,” “Betting Agencies Offering Bonus Bets If Your Horse Dies On The Track” and “Divorcee Makes An Absolute Cunt Of Himself At Work Function” – the Advocate also publishes one or two articles about one of the biggest days on the corporate, sporting and social calendar in a slightly favourable light.
That coverage of those issues, as well as one or two about the #NupToCup brigade, is enough to see The Advocate earn a very lucrative million dollars.
“We treasure the riches that are provided to us for not calling anyone who takes the time to enjoy the day, pieces of shit who deserve to be turned into fucking dog food,” reads the official Advocate statement this morning.
“And in this increasingly tough climate, we are just glad that this large amount of money can be offered to keep us solvent.”
“ENDS”
