WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
“God dammit”
That’s the sentiment coming out of The Eastern Seaboard, Apple Aisle, Free Settlers and Northern Territory today whilst they gaze across at their neighbours in the Golden West.
With the silly season now building serious momentum across the nation, the aforementioned regions are looking to the West with deep seated jealousy.
Not because of the incredible wealth of resources they have under the ground and the sea floor.
But because the summer has officially arrived on the shores of the Indian Ocean.
That arrival comes weeks before the rest of the country and is signified by the final touches being put on Optus Stadium pitch ahead of The West Test kicking off this Friday.
“Cannot wait,” said Aaron Connor, a Fremantle local cricket, people and sunshine enthusiast.
“Friday afternoon will be my Christmas,” he laughed.
While that euphoric sentiment is understandable, it’s one that isn’t shared across the continent.
“It’s not fair,” whined a local Melbourne man, who has to wait until he’s got a Christmas hangover the size of family honey glazed ham until he gets to enjoy Test cricket in the flesh.
Not only will this week’s first ball be the cherished ushering in of summer, but it will be the beginning of the mouth watering five test Border-Gavaskar series against India – who unlike the Poms actually don’t try and claim victory in tests and series they haven’t won.
“God damn, I’d give anything to be drinking a cold beverage in the stands at Optus as the first rays of Summer sunshine cascade down over me,” sighed an exhausted Sydney man who has to hold out for 2025 until he can go and enjoy some Test match cricket in person.
“Seeing the Mitch Marsh, aka the Bison, charge in with the ball in hand, or tonk the Indian attack would be the perfect start to summer.”
“Look at the pipes, look at the chest. Just 193 cm of purebred Bison steaming in.”
“There is nothing better than kicking back and enjoying 8 hours of unadulterated Test cricket,” he laughed.
The exhausted Sydney man’s comments are of course backed up by science, with the CSIRO confirming that there are very few things better than a day at the cricket.
“And a lot of those things I shouldn’t really talk about in a newspaper,” laughed the CSIRO spokesperson.
“But yeah, where else would you rather be than with your bum on a seat watching our national team rip in.”
“Certainly a better option than trying to lasso some spreadsheets or someone’s renos to close out the year.”
More to come.
