ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local man is preparing to grill his own cock this weekend after taking the plunge and buying himself a Grill Cock Deluxe at the Black Friday sales.
Dennis Pooley, a used house salesman from Betoota Heights, scored 20% off the impressive grill and he’s feeling pretty chuffed about himself. The Grill Cock was marked down from $1119 to $895, representing a meaningful saving that both stimulated the local economy and gives the childless 34-year-old something to do on Sundays.
The anti-social Scorpio made the online purchase from Gooch BBQ & Outdoor on Mulholland Street as the in-store discount was only an insulting 15%. However, The Advocate can reveal that just last month, the Grill Cock Deluxe was retailing for $899 with the current discount added to the current price, the savings only represent a few dollars.
Ophelia Gooch, from Gooch BBQ & Outdoor, explained to The Advocate that due to shipping and other external forces out of their control, their stock of Grill Cock was interrupted and thus went up in price by 20%, because of capitalism.
The third-generation Gooch admitted that the timing may have been convenient but they did not intentionally mark up the Grill Cock Deluxe, only to mark it down.
“The Gooch family has been selling Grill Cock barbecues for generations and we will always offer our customer the best price and the best service. Those two things are not mutually exclusive of one another,” she said.
“The Grill Cock Deluxe lets barbecue enthusiasts and enthusiastic dorky dads alike grill their own cock, their own way. That’s one of the great features that only a Grill Cock can deliver. We don’t engage in shady dealings like marking stock up before Black Friday, only to mark it down to normal retail for the sales event. We simply don’t do that.”
Pooley remains ambivalent about the whole thing, telling our reporter that he’s just excited to grill is own cock on Sunday.
More to come.
