CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT
In a twist that has baffled both his housemates and the principles of economics, local man Jake Fowler (26) has somehow managed to scrape together funds for ‘weekend party supplies’ despite being ‘in between jobs’ for the past six months.
Jake’s housemates, Tom and Gemma, are bewildered by his mysterious ability to remain flush with cash for his weekend ‘recreational needs’ whilst struggling to pay his share of rent and bills.
“He’s always broke when it’s time to chip in for groceries,” Tom revealed, scrolling through the housemate group chat where Jake had somehow dodged rent for a second week. “But come Friday night, he’s suddenly the most generous bloke in the house.”
While Jake’s housemates have spent the better part of the year working overtime and budgeting for groceries, their unemployed housemate always seems to miraculously come through with cash when it’s time to ‘hit the sesh.’
Jake, who has an ever-changing array of excuses for his rent delays—ranging from ‘Centrelink complications’ to ‘waiting on a transfer from a mate’—remains tight-lipped about where the party funds actually come from.
“I’m just good with budgeting,” he smirked, producing another bag of ‘weekend essentials’ while ordering an Uber, for night on the town.
