CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT
In a revelation that’s baffled her inner circle, local woman Ash Richie (28) has formed an unlikely bond with her one surviving houseplant—a Devil’s Ivy that, much like her, thrives on neglect.
Unlike most plant owners who obsess over watering schedules and sun light levels, Ash’s approach is decidedly low-maintenance, mirroring her own self-care philosophy. While others would panic at the sight of crispy leaves or droopy stems, Ash takes a more relaxed stance on plant care, reflecting her current lifestyle of bed-rotting and doom-scrolling TikTok.
“I water it… when I remember,” she says, shrugging off the crispy edges on several leaves. “We’re both low maintenance, really. We thrive on neglect.” Ash recalls the last time she watered her beloved Devil’s Ivy, which she thinks was around Easter. “It’s more of a ‘survival of the fittest’ kind of thing. I think it appreciates the challenge.”
Despite Ash’s laissez-faire attitude, the monstera seems to be thriving, much to the bewilderment of anyone who witnesses its glossy green leaves. “It’s like we’ve reached this unspoken agreement,” she insists. “We don’t ask much from each other, and somehow it just works.”
However, friends are starting to grow concerned. “She told me she was too busy to water her plant,” says Sarah, who once attempted to intervene. “But she still finds time to watch Love Island in one sitting.”
As Ash continues to embrace her neglectful plant parenting, her friends can only watch in disbelief as she and her monstera flourish in their carefree existence
