EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
It can be confirmed that the murder of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson could have been avoided had the US copied Australia’s strict gun laws, as he would have simply copped an egg to the head instead.
Doing what America does best, which is remaking a popular premise from another country, the CEO shooting is similar to a famous incident that happened on Australian soil in 2019, when former senator Fraser Anning was egged during a press conference due to remarks he made about the Christchurch shooting.
And just like the CEO shooter, the attacker in question, William Connolly, earned outcries of support from the public, who affectionately nicknamed him ‘Eggboy’ with a fundraiser to support his legal fees and “to buy more eggs”, raising over $10,000 in under 24 hours.
The event made international headlines but resulted in no harm beyond a sticky scalp and a bruised ego.
“If Americans had the same gun laws we do, disgruntled citizens would be reaching for a carton of free-range eggs instead of firearms,” said one Betoota Heights bloke.
“Though according to Donald Trump, the price of eggs in the US is too high.”
“Which is all Kamala’s fault.”
More to come.
