CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT
In an outburst that has left locals scratching their heads, Betoota Heights resident and self-proclaimed philanthropist Geoffrey Fitzgerald (69) has expressed grave concern about the state of the local hospitals—despite his family trust, which was designed specifically to reduce his tax burden.
“I can’t believe the condition of our hospitals these days,” Geoffrey lamented, leaning on his BMW while casually scrolling through his private healthcare app. “I remember a time when you didn’t have to wait hours to see a doctor, and the facilities were actually decent. Now, it’s just chaos.”
Geoffrey’s complaints followed a recent visit to see a specialist at a private hospital, where he was seen within a day and only had to wait 15 minutes for his routine checkup. He called this “unacceptable”—despite his private health insurance covering all costs and the fact that he frequently uses his family trust to shield significant portions of his wealth from tax.
“I’ve given to charity, I’ve contributed to the community, but this is just too much,” he continued, adjusting his polo shirt. “I pay taxes, don’t I? But it’s like the government doesn’t care about people like me who’ve built this country.”
Locals were quick to point out the irony of Geoffrey’s stance. One remarked, “Mate, you could probably fund a hospital with the money you’ve saved through that trust.” Geoffrey refused to comment further, muttering about “public systems” and “the decline of standards.”
