ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Local man Shane McNamara has been rejected by the Betoota Rockabilly Society after failing to meet an unspoken but critical requirement of the subculture.
Despite his slicked-back hair, cuffed jeans, love of calling random things “hot mama”, and impressive collection of vinyl records, Shane’s rakish frame has left him ostracised from the tight-knit community.
Shane, who recently purchased a painstakingly restored 1957 Chevy Bel Air in LHD and began frequenting local rockabilly events, had hoped to immerse himself in the lifestyle. However, his attempts to bond with other enthusiasts were met with cold shoulders and awkward silences.
“I thought I was doing everything right,” said Shane.
“I’ve got the car, the clothes, the music. I even started drinking milkshakes at the diner. But apparently, that’s not enough.”
According to members of the Betoota Rockabilly Society, Shane’s failure to embrace the “full package” of the lifestyle is a dealbreaker.
“It’s not just about the cars and the music,” said society president Darren Munro.
“It’s a way of life. If you’re not ten to twenty kilos overweight, then you’re just playing dress-up. It’s just not rockabilly.”
Darren claims that Shane’s slim figure sends the wrong message about the rockabilly ethos.
“It’s about authenticity. Guys like Shane don’t look like they’ve ever spent a night chain-smoking by a jukebox or eaten a whole smoked brisket by himself in one sitting. He’s nothing but a hound dog!”
Shane says he’s now considering his options, including taking up swing dancing or classic surfing. However, he admits he’s tempted to stick it out.
“I’ve started eating more Philly Cheese Steaks. Maybe if I gain a few kilos, they’ll let me in.”
More to come.
