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The remaining five members of the Bali Nine have returned to Australia in anticlimactic fashion after discovering that their former stomping grounds of Kings Cross have been reduced to nothing more than a strip of fast-food spots and vape vendors.
After spending two decades in Indonesian prisons, the group says they are “immensely grateful” to the country’s new president for facilitating their return, but they’re disappointed in whoever allowed the state of their once-great nightlife district to deteriorate like this.
“This really used to be the place to be in 2004. Now we’re struggling to find a single venue to host our homecoming party. It’s very disheartening,” said one member of the group.
Despite this, some members say the transition from a strict Islamic nation to 2024 Sydney might actually make integration back into society a lot easier.
Mainly, though, the group laments the loss of Kings Cross’s once-vibrant nightlife, describing it as unrecognisable compared to its former glory.
“It used to be a place where you could have a dance, meet some new friends, and make some memories – now it looks like Circular Quay” one member said.
They joked that even the kebab shops, once a staple of a night out, seemed to have been replaced by overpriced cafes.
Another member added, “It’s like they ripped the soul out of it and replaced it with high-rise apartments full of old people and designer dogs.”
“But they haven’t even’t been able to gentrify the place properly. Replacing nightclubs with KFC and tobacconists is a backwards slide if anything. Spose it’s a lot quieter, which is probably what they wanted”
For a group hoping to relive some nostalgia, the sanitised version of Kings Cross has left them with no choice but to spend their homecoming in a glorified pokie machine hall, the only place they can actually get a cold beer after 10 p.m.
“What is a vape by the way?” said one of them.
