KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
An eligible Bachelor is the subject of intense public scrutiny this morning after putting on a wildly performative display of manners over breakfast.
Sitting down at The Squeaky Windmill Cafe in the flight path district, it’s pretty clear to every customer that the bloke soaking in cologne at 9am, Duncan Herons (28), is on a date.
Flaunting freshly groomed hair, and a sparkling white t-shirt, Duncan’s awkwardly polite demeanour towards his breakfast partner, all but confirms this morning’s brunch is actually an online date with a suitor off one of the apps.
Having matched with Marnie Wilson (26) only a week ago, it’s believed Dunc has spent the last few days stumbling through awkward app talk, before finally finding the plums to actually ask her out.
However instead of running with the classic wine bar option, Duncan decided he’d throw a wild card into the mix and ask if she wanted to split a stack of pancakes at a cool industrial cafe with hanging ferns.
A little flawed by how attractive his date Marnie was in person, Duncan decided he’d still go with this favourite order, a Double Bacon and Egg Roll and a Soy Cap, but he’d try and hide his usual sloppy self and not swallow the potato bun in three bites like he usually does.
With food dropped on the table, and conversation flowing surprisingly easily, Duncan did the most awkward thing ever and started to attack the B&E with a knife and fork, like he was a kid that was home schooled.
“Yep he’s definitely on a date,” one cafe waiter told The Advocate, “why else would he be gently dissecting that burger like he’s playing a game of Operation.”
“Props to him trying to show he’s got some manners, but you can tell she’s just wishing he’d be real and eat it like a real human.”
“I hope he doesn’t plan on drinking Martinis with a straw for date no. 2…”
