KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
In breaking news from the front living room of a Betoota Heights McMansion, a local man has just written himself into the Guinness World Record books.
The story comes as Duncan Cummins, a 32-year-old data entry specialist, manages to upload a brand spanking new Belgian waffle maker onto Marketplace, even before he has a chance to discard its Kmart wrapping paper into the recycling pile in the centre of the room.
While the rest of his extended family continue to tear Christmas paper off their assortment of pressies, Duncan’s reportedly used the aircover of his spoilt cousin opening up a Nintendo Switch, to quickly upload the appliance onto the digital Vinnies.
“Oh wow, what have you got there Liam?!” Duncan called out across the room, expertly directing everyone’s attention towards his 14 year old bratty cousin.
“That looks like a big box, explain what you got to Grandma…”
With all eyes diverted towards the screaming happiness of his cousin, Duncan was able to sneakily take a picture of his new Breville door stop, and throw it up on Marketplace.
Speaking to our reporter an hour later, whilst sharing a cigarette down the side of the house, big Dunc says it’s up there with one of the most useless gifts he’s ever received.
“Waffler maker?! How often do you think I’ll use a bloody waffle maker…” Duncan bemoaned.
“It’s a classic move from Aunt Penelope, she’s all dollars and no sense. Might as well try and flip the thing on Marketplace and pocket $50 if I can. Hell, I’d trade it for a box of golf balls or some car seat covers if anyone’s willing…”
More to come.
