CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Queensland’s heatwave is set to peak today, with locals praying for a cooler change to sweep through for the long weekend.
In Brisbane, temperatures are predicted to spike to 37 degrees, while the Gold Coast only slightly more bearable at 35C degrees.
Western Queensland is expected to be even fucking hotter, with Longreach and Winton both reaching up to 46C degrees, a level of debilitating heat that locals probably won’t complain about because nobody will listen if they did.
However, in Brisbane, where people are more than happy to talk about how bloody not-cold it is, efforts are being made to scape the heat.
But in the high-30s, it’s too hot to even bother with the beach. That’s if you can be bothered driving 75 minutes in bumper to bumper traffic full of people with the same idea.
Locals can keep cool by visiting one of the state’s four Westfield Shopping Centres, but given Queensland’s anti-loitering laws, there is a high chance of being ushered back out into the blazing sun by security.
Queenslanders have since learnt that the safest bet for escaping the heat is to visit one of the many public libraries discreetly located next to high streets in every third suburb.
It seems the trusty Queensland library now serves a much greater purpose than what they have been traditionally known for: which was to provide free after-school childcare for unruly primary school students, while also being a safe place for baby boomers to look up pornography on public computers.
The militantly set 21-degree air-conditioning has provided great reprieves for Queenslanders right across the state, however Librarians have urged visitors to please not arrive with eskys or bluetooth speakers.
With no booze or loud music allowed inside the buildings, first-timers are being encouraged to browse the aisle of books – which is another cool thing that libraries offer to visitors.
With a sudden boost in library cards across Brisbane, it is hoped that this new trend will continue into the future. However, weather experts have their doubts.
The Bureau Of Meteorology expects that Queensland’s heatwave conditions will ease from late in the weekend as rainfall begins, at which point the locals will try to escape the wet weather by ‘going to the pictures’.
